You strap on a nice bib, grab a delicate looking fork and a cup of butter and start your way to Red Lobster. You get there with little incident and pick out the juiciest looking crab from the little tank in the front. Unknown to you at the time though one his friends, a voodoo lobster known as Hasmadan was in the tank too, and puts a curse on you for selecting his friend for your dinner. Taking a small break from the succulent crab meat you bite into one of their scrumptious cheesy garlic butter biscuits and chock to death.

I wish these wishes didn't always end in violence.

I grant your wish this one wish will not end in violence. *twitch* Must resist killing random stuff in the course of granting wish *splurch stabs goblin* Ah well then umm the next wish maybe...

I wish I could run on air like in Hidden Tiger Crouching Dragon.

But you cannot on land. Which I suppose isn't that bad of a situation unless you live in a vaccum. You don't live in a vaccum do you? Oh Gawd! You do! Ahhh!

That's all I got sorry...

I wish life was fair.

You now live in 1917 Soviet Union, the communist utopia. Do have fun on the work farm.

I wish for a universal translator.

Hurtling through space and time, you find yourself suddenly aboard the NX-74205 USS Defiant. Sadly, the Borg Threat have decimated the vessel leaving you to your doom with your shiny new universal translator. Have Fun!


I wish I had a home for my shiny psion!

Your shiny psion gets picked up as a driving hazard and locked away. But he now has a roof over his head and a place he'll learn to call home when he's venerable.

I wish for the fountain of youth

As I understand it, most men have the Fountain of Youth built-in, with it; an instantly corrupted wish!



I wish I didn't go there.

There now you didn't go there. I being a Mod sometimes

I wish dinner would just make itself.

The microwave goes ding and out hops four plates of blueberry pancakes. When your husband sees them arranging the syrup and utensils he firmly declares your house is haunted and you guys are moving! To Rome.

I wish my house could be haunted with fun friendly ghosts.

Granted! A tragic accident of a jazz band tour bus happened on your street years ago. The ghosts are friendly and fun, they even play you jazz music... unfortunatly they were used to playing in nightclubs. So they play all through the night and keep you awake.

I wish for marshmallows.

Granted Someone with a lot of money and time reenacts the Marshmallow man scene from ghostbuster with a real marshmallow man right outside your front door. Guts everywhere!

I wish I was immune to fire.

But if it gets on you you cannot put it out. Eventually you will become Ion the Great Flaming Tap Dancer
I choose to end that right there.

I wish I could plant pennies to grow dollar bill trees.

YOUR WISH IS GRANTEd. however the dollar bills have lincoln's face on them instead of george washington's and therefore are worthless.

I wish I had a year's supply of World of Warcraft Horde Mountain Dew

Isn't acid rain on of the ingredients in the glorious dew of the mountain? If not; how 'bout a pool to bathe in your annual supply of the drink!


I wish I could win LOTPWII

But they open a new thread LW2PW3

I wish my interwebs didnt keep cutting out