^ has a strange name
> stalking Valimar
\/ has an incontinence problem

^ Reeks of Jalapenos
> Just bought a stuffed Cookie Monster
v Has an extra toe on each foot

^ has a toe fetish
< Wants to own a M1 carbine
V Wants to own an old man.

^ Dreams of running the "big machine"
< Is cute and cuddly but doesn't want people to know
V Is too sexy for their shirt.

^ Caught my last Girls Gone Wild episode and plays it repeatedly while he plays with his Star Wars figures.

< Never had haggis and not bloody likely to.

V Runs over toads with the lawnmower (meanie!)

^ Is meaner than me anyway
< Is going to pillage an attractive women to take to RenFest this wekend
V Wants to be that woman

^ Eat's tic tacs by the barrel-ful.
< Needs a new pet.
V Lost their pinky toe in 'nam.

lost it in a toe wrestling competition!!

^ Very fond of her breasts
> LOVES sweet tea
\/ Has a crush on me

^ Doesn't replace the toilet paper roll when it's empty.
< Not sleepy enough.
V Is a secret ninja master

^ Drinks mustard
< sleeping life away
v has an evil twin cousin named marty

^ Screams like a chick.
< Screams like a girl (cause I am one).
V Screams like an axe murderer.

^ giggles hysterically when someone says package

< Having a nicotine-caffeine-sugar fit (name that tune)

V Dresses their pets up in formal wear and watches Broadway musicals on Beta Max

^ Likes to walk around impersonating Marty.
< Hates idiots in movie theatres.
V Grows accidental mushrooms on their bedsheets.

is the room spinning??

^ leaves the toilet seat up
> Saw Trans Siberian Orchestra last night. FANFRIGGINTABULOUS!!
\/ doesn't play well with others

^ Doesn't play well with themself.
< Owns at Command & Conquer: Renegade.
V Is my illegitamite child.