^"You caught me, you caught the tater"
< was "Thrown out of a bar"
V has a bulldog named Sluggo

^ Can't read "s**t" without his glasses

< was, according to ^, also thrown out of a bar

V had his/her nipple bitten off by a beaver. The beaver bit it off. Bit it off. Bit. It. Off. O-F-F, off. Bit. It. Off.

^ Is a red neck too!
< I like to walk the extra length off of my pants rather than hem them
V not a redneck but does exhibit a glorious absence of sophistication.

^ Done caught me in my methods.
< Thinks rednecks are weird.
v Has a neck of blue.

^ Is a bit of a wierdo.
< Blue Blood
v No Blood

^ Turned this sublimely sanguine
< knows too many big words
V saw a picture of a big word on the internet once

^ Sesquipedalian
< Simple
v Sophomoric

^ Likes sophomoric humor
< Prefers dark humor
V Wonders where they hid the bathroom (humor)

^ Found the bathroom humor next to the Captain's log
< Created the Captain's log
V Is jealous of the Captain's log.

^ fixated on logs
< Wants a bamboo staff
V can has cheeseburger?

^ trolls for spam
< thinks troll dolls are creepier than WoW trolls
V has troll-like hair

^ Trigger Happy
< Pyro
v Flambe

^ Is standing too close to be calling names
> Prefers thumb biting
v Names his thumbs

^ Has sodden digits
< Thumbelina
v Lacks an important appendage

^ Needs to watch more Firefly

< Needs to watch more Firefly

V Needs to watch more Firefly