The Red Dragon Inn - home of the Audalis campaign setting.  Online D&D gaming, art, poerty, stories, advice, chat, and more

Support the Inn! If you are doing holiday shopping online, please use this affiliate link for Amazon.
You pay the exact same prices, but the Inn earns a small referral fee. Thanks!

We currently have 4063 registered users. Our newest member is Hammeyaneggs.
Online members:
Username Password Remember me
Not a member? Join today! | Forgot your password?
Latest Updated Forum Topics  [more...]
Q&A Threads - Return to Charadun - Q&A (posted by Chessicfayth)Return to Charadun - Q&A
Posting Games - The Morphing Game (posted by TannTalas)The Morphing Game
Posting Games - The One Word Game (posted by TannTalas)The One Word Game
Recruitment Threads - Return to Charadun - Recruitment (posted by Eol Fefalas)Return to Charadun - Recr
Personal Creations - Miniature Painting (posted by t_catt11)Minis!
Latest Blog Entries
Revenge of the Drunken Dice
Latest Webcomics
Loaded Dice #80: Priorities
RPG MB #15: Master of the Blade
Floyd Hobart #19: High School Reunion IV
There are currently 3 users logged into DragonChat.
Is the site menu broken for you? Click here for the fix!

You are here: Home --> Forum Home --> Creativity Forum --> Posting Games --> Dear Ogre
Jump to:    1 2 3 4 5 [Next] [Last Page]
    Messages in Dear Ogre
RDI T-shirts!

How I Roll
Price: $17.00



RDI T-shirts!

Geekier Kid
Price: $14.00

Merideth
Muse-i-licious
RDI Staff
Karma: 182/13
3271 Posts


Dear Ogre

Alright... it's nearly as bad as pulling teeth to get member involvement in the newsletter. So, trying new avenues.

Came up with the idea for an 'advice' column. The concept is someone writes a question to an Ogre and the Ogre responds with in a 'Dear Abby' format.

Game time!

Write a question for the Ogre, the next person to post comes up with an 'ogry' answer to said question and then posts their own.

Particularly good combinations of Q&A's will be published in the newsletter!

I'll start with a question:

Dear Ogre,

I need to improve my abilities at running a game. I'm alright at playing them, but not so great at running them. Any suggestions?

Thanks,

Meri


Posted on 2010-01-14 at 03:53:58.

Brianna
Not Dragon Mistress
Karma: 105/32
2282 Posts


Dear Meri

Dear Meri

The job of the Gm is cleasrly stated in the tital Get Monsters. Plenty of monster for your players. I know times are tough but I recommed you add a few Orgers and to spice it up ass a few Ogre mages for some extra fun. Right now a lot of them are out of work and will to work for food.

On a personal note, what does a Meri's taste like?

**************************************

Dear Orge

I have always wondered why ogre mages have two heads.

Brianna


Posted on 2010-01-14 at 06:08:12.

Steelight
Sage of the Realms
Karma: 44/9
1024 Posts


Dear Brianna

I will put it as shimply as I can. They don't. Were you drunk when ya shaw one last? That might exshplain what ya shaw. A little too much of the saush *hic* might do that to ya.


Dear Ogre,
Which game system do you think will be more successful, Pathfinder by Paizo publishing, or 4th edition Dungeons and Dragons by Wizards of the Coast?

Steelight


Posted on 2010-01-14 at 10:42:24.

Eol Fefalas
Lord of the Possums
RDI Staff
Karma: 470/28
8758 Posts


Dear Steelight

Success of game depend on which one make it easier for squishy PC to get eaten by ogre... System which feed ogre many PCs get ogre vote!

~~~~~~~~~

Dear Ogre,

Our party made it's way through the dungeon, slew the dragon, and made of with the treasure horde... The thing is, when we divvied up the plunder, our meat-shield of a figher laid claim to a shortsword that I really wanted. My question is, is it okay to backstab the bugger now that we're out of the dungeon and the dragon's no longer an issue?

Thanks,
Dak Whisperfoot


Posted on 2010-01-14 at 13:47:45.

Alacrity
The Tired
RDI Staff
Karma: 291/33
6348 Posts


Dear Dak Whisperfoot

I have always believed that to one's self be true - so I'd think you'd best go with the backstab. Meat shields are a dime a dozen - I know because I have a couple of dozen in my freezer right now. Great for late night snacks. Your profession requires skills, time and patience. Fighter have no brains, wave a sword around and get all the glory. I say that you're justified. Stab him once for me.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Ogre,

There is this princess in the castle next door, and I would really like to get to know her, spend some time, and get into her dress, if you know what I mean. Problem is, in order to get a date, I have to climb to the top of the tallest tower, rescue her from a fire breathing dragon and I have to sign a contract to marry her for the rest of life. Any thoughts on getting some action without the to have and to hold?

Signed,
Alacrity Fitzhugh


Posted on 2010-01-14 at 14:19:25.
Edited on 2010-01-14 at 14:34:47 by Alacrity

Merideth
Muse-i-licious
RDI Staff
Karma: 182/13
3271 Posts


We interupt this game...

To say I you all!

Now... back to your regularly scheduled zaniness...

M.


Posted on 2010-01-14 at 14:30:34.

Keeper of Dragons
Devil's Advocate
Karma: 59/18
2581 Posts


lower standards

Dear Alacrity,

Why set sights on well guarded human female? They not very sturdy anyway and always scream and try to run away. You need find nice Ogre female who cook for you and give you all the action you want.

-Ogre


Dear Ogre,

My kingdom is overrun with elves, pixies and other fairy types. What am I doing wrong? How do I get rid of them and attrack trolls and goblins to my woods?

Keeper of Dragons


Posted on 2010-01-14 at 14:55:41.

Ion Kired
Tapped Out Bullywog
Karma: 45/4
758 Posts


Dear Keeper of Dragons

You need to declare your current sitizens as livestock. Then you declare open hunting season. Also stash away lots of treasure everywhere.

Ogre

***********************************************************
Dear Ogre
I recently raised myself to Lich level and I can't get the respect of my community. I never get invited to the BBQ's or conventions. And to top it off it's like one of my 'compatriots' gave my address to the local heroes guild or something. Heroes are popping up like two times a semester!! How do I become a respectable Lich?
With many regards
Boopoo Bartholemew


(As a side note I have to say that Eol and Alacrity's posts are my favorite.)


Posted on 2010-01-15 at 02:55:12.
Edited on 2010-01-15 at 03:05:08 by Ion Kired

Alacrity
The Tired
RDI Staff
Karma: 291/33
6348 Posts


Dear Boopoo

First off, get a respectable name. No one is gonna be scared of Lord Boopoo, no matter how much firepower you have. Go for something simple, but scary - Azak, Black Bart, Kinslayer or Stephen Harper.

Secondly, you need to start off with some marketing. Nothing says professional like Hired Goons. Get some henchmen, undead or living, doesn't matter and get the word out that you are lean, green, and mean business.

Lastly, some say that respected is earned. Personally I believe respected is best burned - into the memory. You need to make an example or two out of a couple of population centres. I kno those are future shivering servants but you can't make an omelet without breaking a few heads.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Ogre,

What races or beings make the best minions for a middle management alu-demon with hopes of cracking that glass pit cover?

Signed
Britney Lohan


Posted on 2010-01-15 at 19:58:07.
Edited on 2010-01-15 at 20:00:16 by Alacrity

Ion Kired
Tapped Out Bullywog
Karma: 45/4
758 Posts


Dear miss Lohan

Humans and goblins almost always make the best minions. One their afraid of being eated. Two they can be quite creative in accomplishing a task (though not as creative as an ogre) in order not to be eated. Three you can eated them and with a little barbecue sauce they taste pretty good. (Nutritious and delicious taste just like chicken. But not as good as Ogre mage) They're also easy to obtain as they have villages everywhere. Also with goblins there is great stress relief in punting them.
Regards,
Ogre

*************************************************************
Dear Ogre
I was walking through the woods and happened to get a glimpse of a nymph. And now I can't get her outta my mind! I'm thinking about her constantly. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I tried to find her but she kept running away so I polymorphed myself into a hawk. And now with her image in my mind I can't concentrate to change myself back. What should I do?
Polymorphed Ninny


Posted on 2010-01-17 at 16:47:08.
Edited on 2010-01-17 at 16:48:50 by Ion Kired

Alacrity
The Tired
RDI Staff
Karma: 291/33
6348 Posts


Dear BirdBrain

How the heck were you expecting to get some hot Nymph action as a hawk? You should have taken the direct approach, threaten her tree and she'll be like puddy in your hand.

Now, your best fate is a roasting rack, because hawks make good eating.

Hungerly,
The Ogre

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Ogre,

We had a dragon living in the caves nearby that was hunting our livestock. We had set up an agreement with it, it ate some many sheep and wwe didn't bother it. But then this knight shows up and kills the dragon (using a poison sheep - one of my sheep too) and now he and his cronies are terrorizing our town. They set themselves our lords and work us like dogs. How can we get rid of this scum and get them to never come back?


Posted on 2010-01-18 at 03:37:27.
Edited on 2010-01-18 at 03:37:51 by Alacrity

Pit F(r)iend
Welcome Waggin'
Karma: 115/3
1245 Posts


Dear Alacrity

Ogre think you hu-mans not know how good hu-mans had it. Hu-man problem like yours heard many times by Ogre, and always Ogre have same answer. Hu-man need find bigger dragon! Then dragon eat and kill (or is it kill den eat?) kunniggitts and frends of the kunniggitts that make life so bad for you hu-mans. Then hu-mans go back to relashunship with dragon since last hu-man and dragon relashunship seemed not too bad, right? As horn-ed frend of Ogre many time say, "The devil you know is better than the one you don't." Hope this help you, hu-man Alacrity!

Dear Ogre,

How can a dashing half-orc like me win the heart of the smoking-hot half-elf maiden who has stolen my heart? Oh, and what do you think our children will look like?

Signed,
Ortuk Many-Keggers


Posted on 2010-01-18 at 11:30:31.

Ion Kired
Tapped Out Bullywog
Karma: 45/4
758 Posts


Yes I'm going to say it.

Dear Ortuk

You must challenge a brave knight to battle. Then after winning the fight with the knight kidnap the girl. After you make your getaway just cut her open and feast away.

Ogre

Dear Ogre
Ok so like I joined this club at my school cause like I had to for a grade ya know and like they want me to read!! It's horrible! I have to sit in a poorly lit room with like NO mirrors and like try to understand these like rune thingys. How do I like fulfill my grade and yet get out of this like horrible situation?
Yours dearly, (Like as if)
Blondie Airhead


Posted on 2010-01-18 at 22:05:12.

Mr.Conquest
Veteran Visitor
Karma: 11/3
112 Posts


Dear blondy Mc*****

Dear Blondie Airhead
I recomend suicide, Personality ajustment or an apointment with mr.fist. Or visit me at my cave, I have a very good Human cook book. If not, never EVER bother me again.

Yours
Ogre
-------
Dear Ogre
I there any way to increase the amount of hours in a day without the pesky "time travel" Nonsence. The reason i ask is because i always have to stop my games of Dark Heresy and such due to it being "Too late" and people being "tired". I hope you can help.

Yours Eye baggingly
Sleeplessious nightious


Posted on 2010-01-18 at 23:48:51.

Ion Kired
Tapped Out Bullywog
Karma: 45/4
758 Posts


Dear Sleeplesswhatever

You don't need more hours you need cages. Put tired people in cages and make them keep playing. If they locked in cage then they can not go home and therefore must stay and play. Also caged friends are easier to catch when dinnertime.

Ogre

Dear Ogre
I recently caast a spell theat went wry. I was trying to summon an imp but instead turned myself into an imp and now a balor has taken it into his head that I should serve him. What do you recommend?

Impish Wannabe


Posted on 2010-01-19 at 00:33:45.

   
Jump to:    1 2 3 4 5 [Next] [Last Page]


  Partners:       Dungeons and Dragons resources, from 2nd to 4th Edition gamegrene.com | for the gamer who's sick of the typical Dungeons and Dragons Adventures, #1 resource for D&D Dungeons and Dragons 4th Edition  
View/Edit Your Profile | Staff List | Contact Us
Use of the RDINN forums or chatrooms constitutes agreement with our Terms of Service.
You must enable cookies and javascript to use all features of this site.




Page loaded in 0.070044 seconds