Because God only had so many slots open for carnivorous beings and the T Rex beat us in the popularity contest, likely because he was so big and intimidated all the ants to vote in his favor.

Why do trolls live under bridges?

Because they used to be homeless people who sheltered under bridges and they discovered you can hear everyone who tries to cross.

Why can't wizards use swords?

...they can but figure it's best not to. All that time spent studying magic leaves little time to learn to properly handle a sword and, as such, they don't want to run the risk of a fumble that causes them to cut off their fireballs!


Why can't we all just get along?

There are less longs than there are people so not everyone can get a long. Similar to the shortage of lerts that led to the "Be alert" slogan.

How does one milk a soybean?

It's entirely possible to milk a soybean, I assure you! It does involve a complicated size-altering technology not yet patented, but essentially once the soybean has achieved sufficient size, extracting the milk via its manifold lacti-ducts can be done with nothing more complicated than a shop-vac. The milk expressed thusly must undergo several chemical steps before it's fit for human consumption, however.

So, why aren't there more films available on Sony UMD?

They tried but the oomplaloompa's revolted at the mere thought of it. They went on strike and stopped making chocolate. Which all fine and dandy until the housewives found out and threw a fit. They stopped vacuming... dust piled up and Hoover nearly went out of business. So he built this dam to help recover the economy and negotiated a peace treaty with the little orange men and things went back to the way they were.

Who invented lightning?

William Wallace started a revolution in Scotland and during one of the fights he though it would be funny to moon the enemy. Well Lo and Behold he'd eaten these strange blue beans given to him by an old crone with a cow that couldn't be milked but was the best friend of a boy named Jack. Anyhows the beans interacted with William's digestive system and caused an explosion to erupt from his mooning device. The explosion shot out as blue streams of lightning causing mass damage into the British ranks. Now we are reminded of this historic event whenever a boyscout farts into a fire and watches the blue sparks.

Why don't we have flying cars yet?

The evil auto industry bought the only known plans and burned them because they are allied with the National Road Layers Union.


Can fish taste their own pee in the water?

However it doesn't gross them out, in fact it's how they find mates. "mmm her pee doesn't taste to bad I think I'll..."

Why don't chinese dragons have wings?

The children pulled them off.

Why aren't there more unicorns?

why aren't there more fair virgin maids? Unicorns never went anywhere they just have fewer and fewer potential friends. (I blame the red dragons)

Why do red dragons have a taste for virgin flesh?

Who doesn't have a taste for pure virgin flesh? I mean seriously!?

I had me some nice tender virgin just last night, *licks lips* with A1 sauce...


---


Why didn't Ion answer my last question?

Ion neglected to answer your question for he is secretly in league with Xenu, cruel galactic dictator, and answering your question would jeopardize The Plan. You know, The Plan to infect all humanity with squalene injections masquerading as H1N1 vaccinations which are funded by the Bilderberger Institute to reduce human population to "A more manageable number" so that when 2012 comes there will be fewer people barging into the secret government survival bunkers built under that airport outside of Denver, even though the bunkers will be protected by super-soldiers in the MK-ULTRA program and can be activated by a simple code word given via phone call. And lets not forget the Philadelphia Experiment, aka Project Rainbow which will let Xenu and his cronies leave the planet via wormhole junctures in space-time...but perhaps I've said too much already.

What is the "Meatrix"?

The 'Meatrix' is... well... um... this site is normally set at a PG13 rating right?

Well... kids... sometimes when a Mommy and a Daddy really love each other and they have no money... they... maybe this is best left for your father to explain it to you.

Is the lottery really random?

No the Lottery isn't random. It's based on an extremely complicated formula that usually equals zero but sometimes equals a really big question. People only think it's random because some one once convinced an alien to hack the system and for like a decade it really was random. Xenu is still looking for the person but all in all the hack was good for business.

What is the really big Question?