^ is camping...with house-sized mosquitoes.

< is indeed full of win...to be full of lose is to be gassy.

v should stay downwind.

^ Has a nifty lite saber.

> Has a nifty lite bright.

v Wants to play with my lite bright.

^ actually has a radioactive Lite Brite, and now I have no hair.

< must go to the toupe shop post haste.

v likes my toupe.

^ still loves nature, despite what it did to him

< hopelessly devoted

v a few beads short of a Rosary

^ throws a mean Hail Mary.

< likes cheese.

v likes cute wittle puppy dogs.

^ more issues than National Geographic

< hippy in a previous life

v so dull they can't even cut a fart

^ has obviously not been around me on Mexican Food Night.

< can be the secret nerve gas weapon.

v must never feed me beans or we're all doomed.

^ gives a can of beans
< runs for cover
v has a match

^ tripped while running for cover and is well within the blast zone.

< lights the match and waits for the...ahem...end.

v sees a strange green fireworks show in the sky.

^ is the culprit behind all the UFO sightings that have been classified as Swamp Gas

< can "rip" with the best of 'em

v wants to form a band...the "Ten Tooters"

^ will make beautiful and stinky music.

< will play bass.

v is in charge of issuing gas masks at the concerts.

^ Thinks a chain reaction is what happens when the bicycle chain snaps a link.

< Has been linked to the disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa.

v Disappears whenever there's work to do.

^ is the Hoffa-nator.

< has been linked to the disappearance of tasty pastries.

v is funky fresh.

^ funk off

< funkin' A

V all funked up

^ flockin' quick

< flocks evvything up

V needs a flockin' life