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You are here: Home --> Forum Home --> General Forum --> Q&A Threads --> RedWyrm School of Online Adventuring - Q&A
Parent thread: RedWyrm School of Online Adventuring
Related thread: RedWyrm School of Online Adventuring - Recruitment Suspended
Related thread: RedWyrm School of Online Adventuring - Character Sheets
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Merideth
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:)

No problem! Thanks for making the adjustment.

M.


Posted on 2010-01-29 at 18:57:53.

Merideth
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First Weeks Comments: Ion

I love your prose dear. You put alot into your character's posts and I hope that others can learn some by reading them over and seeing the detail that you provide.

I would recommend using that return key just a bit more

When you have an internal thought I would pull it out a little bit more to ease readability.

EXE:

Crap I think I’m lost again.
Ion looked at the landscape around him. It was very nearly the first day of his third year at the Redwyrm School of Adventure and he was supposed to be there. In fact it should have been right there in front of him. But it wasn’t. Instead he was looking at a forest. A very pretty forest to be sure but a forest nonetheless.

Amazing. This time I even astound myself. Been going here for three years and I still can’t find the stupid place.


Posted on 2010-01-31 at 17:41:40.
Edited on 2010-01-31 at 17:51:52 by Merideth

Merideth
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First Weeks Comments: Steelight

Kudos on the regular posting and for helping keeping things moving here. Steelight is turning into an interesting character

I would like to suggest foregoing the bold for speech. There might be certain DM's that would like speech to be highlighted in some way, but I am not one of those. My reason for this is because it can be useful to use bold to highlight specific aspects of speech and not all of it. For instance if a character needs to yell bold is appropriate:

"Look out that boulder is going to crash!"
Or when some specific part of the speech needs to be highlighted because it is said with a greater or different emotion than the rest of the sentence (depending on the emotion being used sometimes italics are more suited for this):
"I've told you a thousand times to clean up after your bullywug. Now go do it now!"

"shhhh... I got a secret to tell you!"

It can also be useful to highlight something in a personal thought when italics have already been used.
I can't believe that Steelight asked that halfling to go to the RedWyrm senior dance instead of a nice human girl like me...



Posted on 2010-01-31 at 17:50:14.
Edited on 2010-01-31 at 17:52:56 by Merideth

Merideth
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First Weeks Comments: Mahargave

Ah another loyal poster! Well done, I love your formatting which makes your posts easy to read and understand.

I have two small things for you.

First, lets work on getting those 'scene setting' lines I have demanded from you in italics. If you don't know how to get something into italics check out this thread and see if that helps. If you still need some help let me know.

Second, see if you can't lengthen some of your posts just a bit and get some of those internal thoughts of your character in there. Feel free to flesh things out as you need. Add to your surroundings, if there is something you want to run by me before including it just ask here or through a PM. But little details, like watching a bug crawl across the floor in the cafeteria or something can be added without asking and add flavor to your posts


Posted on 2010-01-31 at 17:59:57.

Merideth
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First Weeks Comments: Tus Lased

First of all, good job on the character interaction you started. Talking to Ion and then bumping into Steelight is a great way to get rp started with your fellow players

Still could use some work on format yet though. I know that Ion gave you some advice on how to improve your recapping of conversation from other players and I was pleased to see that you made some of those adjustments. You'll notice I struck through some of what was left. Internal thoughts of other characters should not really be included in your posts.

Editing other people's posts to incorporate your own perspective is an art that is very nervewracking sometimes and is difficult to say the least.

Your begining line ('Levanna Amarker listened intently to the professor') is one great way to do it well though. Unless your character is going to directly respond to something someone said there is no reason to copy and paste the text. A quick recap like you did works fine. If you are going to have your character respond to something try to only grab the speech part of their posts, and perhaps any important descriptions of pure action.

EXE:

Merideth posts:
Merideth stared at Levanna suspiciously. "I want to know the truth Levanna. Have you broken into the kitchen and replaced the stock of gruel with chicken bones?"

It is a pretty good prank, more effective at getting my attentions than Ion's constant nagging I'll admit... but if she did... I'm going to have to do something... chicken bones!? I'm not sure if I should punish her or give her rewards for such creativity! Meri thought to herself, but mantained the steely look while she gazed at Levanna.

Tus Lased posts:
Levanna trembled under the suspicious glare of Merideth.

It wasn't really my fault... it was do it or get drowned by those half-orc bullys!
But the words just wouldn't come to her throat, even when the directors voice spoke, "I want to know the truth Levanna. Have you broken into the kitchen and replaced the stock of gruel with chicken bones?"

She swallowed hard, her eyes getting larger.

Chicken bones!?
"What are you talking about!?" She exclaimed with a ring of sincerity to her voice.

I put whole chickens in there! What happened to them!?



Posted on 2010-01-31 at 18:01:21.
Edited on 2010-01-31 at 19:03:35 by Merideth

Merideth
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First Weeks Comments: speeddemon

I must say speeddemon this is the only time I have ever seen a whole post written in first person.

I have always found that writing in first person is very challenging, so I am going to try and make things a bit easier for you. Try it in third person next time.

It is a great way to get into character, though, and please please please feel free to include your character's thoughts in your post (which will be in first person). But actions and such are usually better in third.

Part of the reason for this is just because so many of the games we run here include combat of some kind and using the more standard form of 'He dove right' is easier for other people to read and understand.

Looking forward to your next post!



Posted on 2010-01-31 at 18:02:03.
Edited on 2010-01-31 at 19:10:40 by Merideth

Merideth
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Confrontations & Interactions

Alright... had a few messages about this so I figured I would post up some guidelines here.

For the sake of prose (something that most of us enjoy and why we are here to be honest) please feel free to elaborate on your characters actions without going into a great deal of the nitty gritty details in the text.

However, as we are still playing a rules based D&D game make sure that out of character (OOC) you clarify what has transpired.

EXE:

Jonah steps back from the dragon, not wanting to wind up with is claws decorating his skull. His lips move as he tries desperatly to focus not on the claws but on the magic that he wishes to cast. One hand spreads and from his palm a white sticky substance shoots forth, while his other hand goes to his sword.

((OOC: Attempting to cast web on the dragon. Standing outside of the dragon's reach, so... 20 feet away. Am also preparing to draw sword for next round))



When it comes to the actions of your fellow players or NPC's, it gets a bit trickier. If you have a question about something they might do (especially when your actions are dependent on it) send a note to the person responsible for their actions (player or DM) and ask them, you might also do best to ask them if it is okay to include that information in your post. If the action is small and relatively assumable you can post it without asking (Just as Tus did in his last post). However, be prepared to change it if needed later.

EXE:

When the final arrow had soared through the air she turned and looked back at the others behind her. She smiled when she saw their looks of approval at her actions.

((OOC: Assuming everyone is pleased with her killing off the incoming hobgoblin and avoiding a fight))




Posted on 2010-02-02 at 18:45:58.

Merideth
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School Rules

Being a school for adventurer's weapons would be alright to carry with you. However their use, save for training sessions, would not be looked upon favorably. Situations where they are used may be investigated by the facility on a case to case basis.



So... use your weapons at your own risk.

M.


Posted on 2010-02-02 at 18:47:42.

Steelight
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1024 Posts


Next question

Are the half-orcs armed and armored?


Posted on 2010-02-02 at 18:55:17.

Merideth
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Yes...

Swords and plate armor, although being lunch time they are probably only wearing the breast plates, the rest sitting in their rooms somewhere to allow them more freedom of movement in the cafeteria.



M.


Posted on 2010-02-02 at 19:06:41.

Merideth
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FYI

Just to let everyone know... this game has not come to a halt I promise

Not everyone has posted up yet and I've been hoping that they would. I've also had some RL delays. However, I should have some freetime tomorrow night and will try to get up a post then, and if not first thing Sunday morning and we will see what happens with the gruel and the Ogres

M.


Posted on 2010-02-05 at 14:25:04.

Steelight
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Karma: 44/9
1024 Posts


Wait... OGRES!?!

So, who cast the polymorph spell? I thought they were half-orcs! Well, perhaps I'll just let the elf get pummeled then.


Posted on 2010-02-05 at 15:20:45.

Merideth
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Hey...

I'm the DM they are whatever I say they are



Just can't give me a break huh?

M.


Posted on 2010-02-05 at 16:59:36.

Steelight
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Karma: 44/9
1024 Posts


It's alright

I'm sure they are just poster children for the school's equal opportunity policy.


Posted on 2010-02-05 at 18:08:38.

Shield Wolf
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1066 Posts


question

It has already been stated that weapon use is frowned upon, but that leaves quite a bit of room for magic users, or would attack spells be considered weapons in this case? Just curious...

Not saying Zeph is even remotely considering getting involved, I just happen to know one of the halflings is a spell caster.


Posted on 2010-02-07 at 04:49:09.

   


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