it was made by Kurt Shoestringmaker-Levy in 1679, but did not come into style until the 1950's.

How are ya?

Tired.



What color is my hair?

An obvious trick question since you are bald.

Why is there powdered milk and powdered chocolate drink mix to add to regular milk but no powdered chocolate milk?

Because someone like you hasn't come around and taken the world to such a new level in drinks!

A recent poll has shown that a 5th of Americans can't locate the United States on a world map. Why do you think this is?

They aren't originally from there?

Sorry. I had to do that.

ummmm. Because once they got all those people into the fifth, they suffocated and couldn't answer the question?


[bringing to mind this query]

Why is alcohol usually measured in fifths and not simply standardized in quarts or liters?

The fifth was created to honor Beethoven after creating his Fifth Symphony (which was actually his ninth, making his Ninth Symnphony ... ummm ... ... ... his thirteenth!)

If Pro- is the opposite of Con-, does that mean Congress is the opposite of Progress?

After years of being clumped together with the Cons, the Pros decided to make a stand for their individuality. An all out war ensued leaving the Cons devastated with massive losses. In order to save what was left of their civilization the Cons conceded victory to the Pros and have lived in a fragile state of peace ever since.


Why didn't they stop making "Alien" movies after the 2nd one?

Okay, you beat me to the Pro/Con answer, Lysk...

They had to keep Sigourney Weaver from becoming homeless.


Are the Sumatran Nauga and the Belgian Velcro extinct or endangered?

Not extinct, nor are they endangered. Mankind still finds enough nauga-hydes to make their use lucrative, even though where naugas hyde has not been made clear to the general public. And the Velcro is hanging on to its existence like a Hook-and-Loop Burr hangs on flannel ...

[oops!]

Why is The View still on the air?

Because it makes Oprah feel better about herself?...

Why do some people really have it all, without deserving it, and other people who are amazing and could really use a little luck, go through hell their entire life just to get by?

If you don't have it, you weren't meant to have it and don't deserve to have it, therefore you are not allowed to have it, and so you have to do without it.

Did Whoopie Goldberg have any kids with Ted Danson and, if so, what would they look like? [[shudders]]

they had a son who grew to manhood and became a big movie star. You may have heard of him...Shrek?



why in blazes do hotdogs come in 10 packs but buns only in 8 or 12?

it's because hotdogs are American and bread rolls are European!!
And how that makes any sense, i don't know...but it just does.

Why don't they ever REALLY tell you what dandruff is caused from?? (an excess of squiggly little living bacteria!)

Because the bacteria have subverted the media for their own twisted purpose...to rule the world!

Who stole my pen?

Grugg




WHY did Grugg steal your pen?