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You are here: Home --> DragonBlog --> Revenge of the Drunken Dice

Revenge of the Drunken Dice

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Way, way, way back, before I discovered the Inn, heck, before I really discovered the internet, I discovered a little game called Dungeons and Dragons. Now I know what you're asking, "Oh great Gruggity, I have never heard of this game, perchance elaborate on this fantastic discovery?". Well, strange reader who has never heard of D&D on a site all but dedicated to it, you are in luck, for I shall elaborate, albeit briefly, because it distracts from the actual story.

I was but a wee Grugglet, 10 years of age, and having only just grown my first full beard on that fateful day that I wondered unsupervised through what my broodmother had called a bookstore while she acquired the great bounty of groceries t'was required to feed her spawn. And lo it was there, sandwiched between historical fiction and young teen fantasy (which I would learn later is quite justifiably a felony) that I spied it, a deep rustic brown hardcover embossed with the words "Player's Handbook, 3e". Now I had never heard of such a thing, but the small cardboard sign above the shelving informed me that it was a "new release", which somehow compelled me to want it more than anything I'd wanted before, and no sooner did my mother, impressed that I was interested in anything that involved even the slightest bit of reading, purchase it for me, on the condition that I shared it with my younger broodmate. Though my innate desire to never under any circumstance share with my brother initially gave me pause, the realization that I could not use this resource alone allowed me to relent, and along with two friends who I will call Ace (for his more than passing resemblance to a certain Pet Detective) and James (for his more than passing resemblance to a certain Mr. Franco) we dove in recklessly, with a less than certain grasp on the rules and only a fleeting concept of what we sought to achieve.

In the decade and a half since, our group slowly splintered. Ace moved in with his extended family, making him unavailable more often than not. James made good on his movie star resemblance and began a series of relationships that occupied his time during our former Friday night sessions. This left only my brother and I, which understandably left us both pursuing other options, which partially contributed to my discovery of the Inn, which leads us to today. Tabletop gaming gave way to play-by-post, and any hopes of reconvening our circle were soon laid by the wayside as we moved apart, found jobs and took up homes throughout the land. It occurred to me that it was unlikely I would ever play with my once tight-knit group again.

However, thanks to the magic of a fermented brew and an unlikely reunion over an otherwise unassuming weekend, it turned out I could not have been more wrong. Fueled by nostalgia and out inability to walk in a straight line well enough to actually leave my abode, our group found ourselves arranged around a table, looking at books I'd long since resigned to gather dust, and in the case of my well-intentioned brother, trying in vein to stack d4's for, in his own words, he "totally used to be able to do this".

What followed was possibly the greatest session of character design and improvised adventure since the dawn of time, or so it seemed to our glazed over eyes. The candles burned low and the empty bottles stacked high as we played long into the morning hours, with only the burning light of the sun through a window serving to remind us of the passage of time. Worries were thrown about, "Do I have to go to work?", "What day is it?", "Has anyone seen my shoes?", "I'm not sure if James is passed out or dead.", "Seriously, who took my shoes?" but our fears were quickly allayed by the discovery that it was merely Saturday morning, James was in fact alive, and my brother's shoes were precisely where he left them and he was in fact, merely an idiot. We resolved to go home, get some rest, and then resume our session that same night, with a few new conditions.

Firstly, we were to get as intoxicated (if not more so) as we were for our initial session. Secondly, owing to our levels of said intoxication, we were to record our coming session for posterity (and in part so we could actually remember what happened, as our first session's details could best be described as almost immediately forgotten). Thirdly, Ace wanted to bring a friend, who he described as "incredibly down for this ridiculousness".

All such things were immediately agreed to, and the results of which I shall attempt to transcribe (I have been sworn to keep the recording itself off the internet) here over the coming days, as I'm possibly far too hungover to continue writing at present. It took 10 years, 7000km and fine local craft pilsner to reforge a group long since sundered, and it would take that group a marathon overnight session to craft the story I will try to lay before you here.

I can only hope you will enjoy it as much as I did. Stay tuned.

Cheers, Gruggles

posted by Grugg on 5/23/2024 at 08:44:02 PM Digg Technorati Blinklist Furlreddit


This I have absolutely got to read.

posted by Chessicfayth on 10/19/2015 at 10:11:17 PM

Please, please post the followup to this. It sounds like a blast!

posted by t_catt11 on 10/22/2015 at 04:17:20 PM

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