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You are here: Home --> The Archives --> Parody Songs


The DM's Dice

Based on Juice Newton�s �Queen of Hearts�

Game time,
And once again I left my dice bag at home,
Hoping the DM won’t mind if I take his on loan,
Game time.
I’ll just borrow his fave twenty side.
Won’t you keep my PC from dying. If only for a very short ride.

 

Chorus
Playing with the DM’s dice,
Notice something just ain’t right,
The monsters aren’t the only tools,
That’ll do anything for you.
Don’t give me another lie,
Using this dice is a crime,
Now I’ll do what I have to do,
To keep them away from you.

 

Buddies,
You know I think we’ve been had,
Why is this dice never rolling lower than a seventeen?
Buddies,
I know I should be mad.
But when the rolling leads to fumbles,
You notice that I haven’t had a one.

 

Chorus

 

Criticals,
I know you roll a few,
But hide your face behind the screen,
And tell me this die isn’t fixed.
The others,
They roll just as well and true,
And it’s hard for me to believe you when you say it’s just a trick.
Playing with the DM’s Dice, knowing something just ain’t right
The monsters aren’t the only tools that’ll do anything for you.

 

Chorus

 

Playing with the DM’s Dice [repeat and fade]


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Thanks to Roger (Alacrity) Briant for this contribution!

 


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