It was some time before Isilmewen remembered to breathe. Even without the court's eyes on her, she moved as if she were still watched. A grace practised but not felt, nor true.

 

 

"Do I truly deserve to keep this, when we never even became guests?" Isilmewen asked softly. To the fae as a whole, they had been debts, not companions. Deliveries, not friends. "If it's to be taken back..." she trailed off, tracing her fingers over the cloudlike hem, "I won't blame you."

 

After the court. The one small solace Isilmewen felt was that, for once, it hadn't been her directly. And yet, the weight of what felt like it had shattered before even having a chance to grow lay heavily on Isilmewen's mind. Stars and Shadow, that could've been a beginning of great collaboration that it seemed would only benefit the heart of nature.

 

Though Ysmiril didn't ask for its return, unease settled in anyway. In court, kindness carried costs, even if only in perception. Was this too a mark now, left on both of them? She worried that Ysmiril would receive undue repercussions for it. But neither would Isilmewen offend by denying her earlier words, since she still meant them. Even if she couldn't wear it where modesty was demanded under Stars or Sun, she'd treasure it always.

 

---

 

Stepping back into the world was...

 

It shouldn't have been unpleasant, and yet...

 

Isilmewen cautiously stepped. Confusion gnawed at the back of her mind. She could feel everything as it was supposed to be. She was acutely aware of how the ground and the plants felt, aligned with what was right. But it was more like her senses informed her it was so, that her surroundings were too muted to tell her directly. Everything felt... faded.

 

Like ink left too long in the sun, the outlines were still there. Yet the vibrancy had crumbled.

 

Except the dress that Ysmiril had called a hienomekko. It still felt as light and as comfortable as it had in the fey realm. Airy without letting the breeze steal away too much warmth.

 

Isilmewen might have cited various excuses as why she didn't wear her ranger garb if prompted, but the truth of it was the hienomekko she still wore felt more real than even the ground she stood on.

 

And as they passed through the realm of shadows once more, Isilmewen led again, carrying the rope as to guide the others. If reality had felt muted, she felt almost out of body. The times she stole a glance back, she wouldn't have been surprised to see no one at all. Only mist. Only the rope, taut but untouched, like a trail tied to nothing.

 

On some level, she didn't mind. It let her focus on Ysmiril's song while she followed in the shadow path.

 

She wouldn’t dare sing the fae’s song. It wasn’t hers. But she clung to the melody all the same, like a child holding the shape of a lullaby without the words. Even so, she tried to learn more of the melody, and perhaps even make the attempt at humming a few of the notes.

 

Then they were in reality once more, back at the glade where they had made their first step out of the world. After the dark of the shadow path, now the colors of their world seemed more aligned with the memory of it, even if they still felt a bit faded to Isilmewen. Ysmiril's departure was to be expected, and Isilmewen returned to her own duties as guide for the others through the wilderness.

 

---

 

The path to Hyanda Nost was not complicated. The path wound long and jagged underfoot, but Isilmewen barely felt it. The fae-spun fabric of her outfit weathered the wind and cold, warding off rain and dew with no more effort than a leaf might shed droplets. It was... comforting.

 

More comforting than she deserved. 

 

But as they neared the settlement, Isilmewen had to sigh inwardly. Modesty and image demanded, but she'd be a liar if she were to claim she wasn't tempted to deny both. For once. She folded the hienomekko with care, enveloping it within her formal red dress as if to protect it further. She laid a hand on the folded bundle once, as if to apologize to it too.

 

 

Even a doll, after all, needs something soft to cling to.