What do you mean?

I said bull man.

Clearly.

ima eat you now, eats you

Sorry, folks.

I had planned to post Friday. As stated, I spent all of Friday (until after 10 PM) working on the van and the fence, then all of Saturday doing the same.  Then Sunday, we spent six hours in the ER with my wife.  Monday, we took the van to a mechanic and we borrowed a vehicle.  Yesterday, I was sick and we had the election disaster.  

As of today, I'm looking at $10k for the van, Donna has a new major health issue, and our country voted for facsism.  Sigh.

But I don't want our fun escape into fantasy to fizzle out.  I'll have a post here shortly.

Sorry Olan, series of bad s*** stacked up... for what consolation it is, we all love escaping the daily (and worse) bulls*** to play in a world you built with your brain. So. Thanks for giving us a little sunlight, a delightful community of likeminded nerds to lean on when we need it, and an escape hatch into something better than the world we inhabit. And even tho the DM doesn't get to frolick about in the story with the enthusiasm of a new puppy like we do, hope you get a little second hand joy from what you bring all of us. 

Your first taste of battle.

Sitrep: the group is in a loose single file, roughly five feet between each of you.  There is a ridge to your right (the creature is coming downhill at full steam towards you from there).  The ground is ore flat to your left.  There are scattered large trees, but the ground cover here is mostly ferns and scattered bushes.  

Rain is a close to a hundred fifty yards ahead of the group.  The creature has surprised you, will be in the midst of the party within moments.  

Please share your general tactics.  Feel free to offer as much or as little detail as you wish, contingencies, etc.  If you are unclear, feel free to reach out to me directly - PM here, email, FB message, whatever.

@Octavia: hopefully you're not lactose intolerant

@Olan: like Alan said, we appreciate the world you've created that gives us a chance to escape the one we have to deal with. It's nice being able to have a positive impact somewhere, even if it's with a bunch of silly people playing silly little games in made of worlds. It means a lot.

Also you called the ranger the name of my GOD there at the end. Wtf is with that? 

I'll have my post up tomorrow!

Oh, use sylvari in the posts!  The players will enjoy the immersion!

Except when you copy/paste the wrong thing.  Durr...

*runs away*

On a more serious note, I echo the sentiments already expressed re: our little bouts of escapism from the horrors of everyday existence. So we had to wait for a bit before a post went up (as awful as it can be, that's the way life goes sometimes), but everyone here understands. 

I'll work on a post for the little "sneakthief" and, with a little luck, have it tacked up by this afternoon. 

And there's Dak's battle tactics for you. I mean, it's not like he's big enough to shove anyone in front of him, right?

Also - Elven phrases updated.

I appreciate the ongoing help there with the translations.

As for the creature - it doesn't take a genius in monsterology to know that a creature the size of a gizzly who happens to have a beak and feathers around its head is an owlbear.  Unless your character has had good reason to encounter them in the past (Rain, Rosie have surely encountered them, perhaps Arathea), then you may not be familiar with their exact tactics.  But pretty much anyone with basic logic can surmise what an owlbear is, and knows of their fierce reputations.

Edit - as for those tactics, owlbears are incredibly aggressive and vicious.  They attack prey and they Do. Not. Retreat.  They attack with claws and beak, but they love to grab up a target, lift it from the ground, and squeeze it to death.  A target so grabbed is subject to ongoing crushing unless they can break free, and are still vulnerable to the deadly beak.

Owlbears are terrifying.

In my experience, all we need to do is is pet it without Shadowheart or Karlach scaring it away in the background and then it'll stay in our camp and chill with our dog.

Sidenote: I had gotten two syllables into the description before shouting OWLBEAR! Lol the other game I play in has encountered one recently too in the feywild. 5e's obviously a bit different, but owlbears are such a classic. Love 'em so much I could just squeeze em to death!

Sidenote dos: Olan, I know you're busy busy, I don't need a full character sheet, but if you've got a few boys on my spell list feel free to just send those my way. I have a couple ideas for what I wanna do, just gotta check out my resources. Thank you thank you thank you for all the things!

Your sheet is ready to that point.  I'm sending it to you now.

lol Shadowheart didn't pet the mama, now did she?  But yes, they are a classic.  And what makes sense in the deep forests....?

in the wise words of deadpool when colossus fought juggernought, prepare for an epic cgi fight bitween ruadhrí and the owlbear.

Shadowheart and Karlach always scare off my owlbear cub in the cutscene at the camp 

Also I love that line from Deadpool about owlbears lol

If it manages to work and the bugger shrinks down enough, what kind of dipping sauce would Gladd recommend, I wonder?