Topic: Blatantly Obvious Lies
Subject: Obvious
Umm... it is really heavy. (Or, it is made by "they")
Why is a bird in the hand worth more than two in the bush?
Posted on 2008-07-17 at 13:59:21.
Edited on 2008-07-17 at 13:59:52 by EvolutionJ
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Topic: Corrupt a wish
Subject: Granted!
Letter opener repeatedly to the back, then front, then both sides. All equally though, fair's fair. Then comes the pound you in the buttocks prison sentence. Horray for intimately close housing!
I wish my bank account was filled with stable, legal, and applicable money.
Posted on 2008-07-17 at 13:56:22.
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Topic: Demonic Vending Machine
Subject: Patooie
Spits out a 1985 science fair volcano and a wedding dress from around the same time.
I feed it a small purple stuffed whale and a empty pepper grinder.
Posted on 2008-07-17 at 13:51:44.
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Topic: The Morphing Game
Subject: I like cows
Moo
Posted on 2008-07-16 at 16:14:54.
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Topic: Blatantly Obvious Lies
Subject: Remember.. this is a LIE
Because men were born with "Go out and workie on stuff" brains and women were born with "Stay home and cookie" brains.
(Btw.. just as a point, I was a cook for over 10 years so don't hurt me.)
Why is salt hydroscopic?
Posted on 2008-07-16 at 13:48:54.
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Topic: The Would You Rather Game
Subject: Totally easy
Necessity... cause I am so cool I gotta wear shades.
Child Abuse or Genocyde of a species?
Posted on 2008-07-16 at 13:34:31.
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Topic: Corrupt a wish
Subject: You can.
Poof, you can! Your in that nice little town in the middle of the country where all those nice mutants live. They take your baby and make you blow up your camper. (Terrible movie reference.)
OR
Poof, you can! You found lots of houses in the country. They are all lined up exactly next to each other and some.. for space saving goodness... are stacked right on one another. And for ease of convienece they have roads going from one to another. With stores located close by and sidewalks to get to those stores. Because of all that paved surface they decide to put in some greenry for you with a small bit of man-made nature called a "Pah Ark". And there are tons and tons of people that live there and try to make a living.
I wish I always have soft suple clean toilet paper.
Posted on 2008-07-16 at 13:30:57.
Edited on 2008-07-16 at 13:31:21 by EvolutionJ
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Topic: Blatantly Obvious Lies
Subject: 1 for the Theorists
Because it is actually a Conspiracy against you. A few decades ago (cannot tell you the exact time or I would have to kill you and spoil the experiment) "They" decided to perform an experiment with one goal in mind. To make the line at grocery stores and other applicable establishments slow for YOU. Relax though, there is nothing you can do about it. "They" are everywhere and you cannot hope to defeat them. Besides, from my contacts on the inside I hear that soon you will get a "I just opened my lane and you can come here to check out" break soon. Just enjoy it and know people are looking after you.
Why does my boss insist on me coming to work if I want to get paid?
Posted on 2008-07-16 at 13:23:31.
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Topic: Demonic Vending Machine
Subject: Patooie
It spits out 40lbs of dog food with little chocolate suprises inside. (Looks very similar to what was put in)
I feed it a map of Japan and a Chip and dale dancer from the late 80's.
Posted on 2008-07-16 at 13:16:03.
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Topic: The Would You Rather Game
Subject: Weeee
I would like to say hot as a first reaction.. but honestly, Tepid. Hot showers make me sweat. Sweat = icky. Icky = shower. Terrible circular trap there. I hate feeling dirty right out of a shower.
Tuna or Salmon?
Posted on 2008-07-16 at 13:12:35.
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Topic: The Legacy of the Shade Lord
Subject: Ooooh.. we do it all.
"[Hmm. There are a few things that I need to discuss with this lovely woman here. If you will let us speak for just one moment.]"
The gnome turns to the drow. "Hello, my name is Melacrostondifie Glodanstiven. I am a Collector of Antiquities. I prize what many people may feel is... less than valuable, but that is only because they do not know its true purpose. Anyway, I am carrying on too long for our current contractual negotiation. Sufice it to say, I am a collector and can be very useful in almost every situation. However, I thought that we should definitely know each other formally before we enter a ... Illustrious One's den." With a broad smile and a quick tinkling bow the gnome finishes with "So, may I have the ladies name?"
Posted on 2008-07-16 at 13:05:23.
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Topic: Demonic Vending Machine
Subject: Spits out
It spits out a baby on a lawn chair that quickly floats away because of the giant bubbles tied to the edges of the chair.
I feed it a pound of sugar and hair from a furry midgets back (if it matters.. a male midgets back).
Posted on 2008-07-15 at 18:39:53.
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Topic: The Would You Rather Game
Subject: hmm
definitely consternation... because I would rather be amazed then thinking about something.
Peanut Butter or Honey on your apples?
Posted on 2008-07-15 at 18:34:04.
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Topic: Blatantly Obvious Lies
Subject: Its like those parkin spaces
It is a device used for helping blind egg collectors. Kind of like handicap parking spaces and adding the smell to propane tanks. You see, the blind egg collectors collect umm.. eggs. Eventually these eggs go bad. The smell forms as a way to tell the blind people that a piece of their prized collection is broken. Otherwise they would never be able to tell.
Why does freezerburned ice taste kinda like garlic?
Posted on 2008-07-15 at 15:52:21.
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Topic: Corrupt a wish
Subject: Lol.. Mcloogie
Granted, you only have to work at the help desks you have previously worked at. Forever.
I wish for fresh tasty and safe tomatos that I can eat.
Posted on 2008-07-15 at 15:40:31.
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Topic: Demonic Vending Machine
Subject: Yum tasty.
The machine takes those insecurities and firmly secures them. Spitting out bonds, stocks, banknotes, and fungible and non-fungible securities too.
I feed it a bunch of Deer tics and a box of thumb tacs.
Posted on 2008-07-15 at 15:37:29.
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Topic: The Would You Rather Game
Subject: Huh..
Generally Bow but I will not deny the shear awesomeness of a set of swordchucks.
Fight fairly with the possibility of losing or kick'em in the nadgers and most likely win?
Posted on 2008-07-15 at 15:32:40.
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Topic: The Legacy of the Shade Lord
Subject: Bargaining for fools.
With his cudgel put away Melven sits down on a small chair and relaxes as if he had come down to see his cousin for tea. His brow furrowed with the thoughts of life, death, money, and machinery. His hand deftly slips to the small metal object in a pocket on his hip. Three small metal barbed tines stab into the meat slices on a tray and then disappear as they are shoved quickly into the gnome's mouth. Chewing slowly, Melven uses the back of the multi- tined eating dagger to scratch a series of numbers in the dirt.
A swallow followed by a leather strapped sleeve across the chin, whiping away the juices and gravy.
"["So, if I get this correct... You, want to pay me 484 gold in silver pieces for services already rendered. Allow us to take back the cattle to the villagers. Then your going to pay me a monthly salary to go around collecting things for you... Expenses paid... and your going to let me keep all the extra bits that I find along the way. Oh, and you, and your kobolds here, are going not going to interact with the locals anymore either. Oh and one more thing, I want to be able to search through those giant old rusted heaps down the way, during my "off time" and keep what I want. And in return you want us to collect a few things for you and keep your location a secret. Oh and I almost forgot... if we don't your going to eat us. ]"
He quickly spears another piece of meat on his tri-pronged dagger and shoves then into his mouth. Through the loud chewing he appears to be mumbling to himself.
"[Mnnmnm Going anyway numnmnmn long days MnNMunNumndn get eaten Mnnmnmnunmn]"
A forced swallow and then
"[What kind of things? I mean what kind of items will we be procuring? And what kind of people do you consider to be your enemy? I'm not big on killin mind you but I have done my fair share of defending myself with a preemptive strike while someone was sleeping. But I tend to only do that to people who aren't really currently capable of fighting back. It seems to be much easier that way.]"
Posted on 2008-07-15 at 15:27:16.
Edited on 2008-07-15 at 15:35:00 by EvolutionJ
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Topic: The Would You Rather Game
Subject: OUchies
Eyebrow, because even though a nose piercing CAN look good on a girl... an eyebrow Always does.
Your Son: Nip the Tip or All natural?
Posted on 2008-07-10 at 18:27:30.
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Topic: The Would You Rather Game
Subject: hehe
Mac.. because noone wants to be Politically correct all the time.
On Airplanes "Meat" or "Fish"? (or is it "Chicken" I can never remember)
Posted on 2008-07-10 at 18:23:28.
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Topic: Corrupt a wish
Subject: You did that all for the "joint" joke...
Granted. You magically come and live in Alabama, filled with mosquitos, humidity, and the constant smell of everyone else's sweat. On the upside living is 1/2 the cost.. on the downside.. you get paid 1/4 your old salary. Which means that even if you wanted to move out of the bug filled armit of the states, you could never afford the move anywhere else.
I wish I had a really good recipe for watermelon pickles.
Posted on 2008-07-10 at 18:20:56.
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Topic: Demonic Vending Machine
Subject: Spits
it spits out one of those candied Dinasaur eggs. The Candy coated chocolate ones with the Gummi raptor inside.
I feed it a french maid's outfit with the pockets filled with those ornamental glass beads used in some CCG's.
Posted on 2008-07-10 at 18:15:24.
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Topic: The Would You Rather Game
Subject: Old School
Two dimes and a nickle so you can say the words "I have a kanickle right here"
ear buds or headphones?
Posted on 2008-07-10 at 18:12:48.
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Topic: The Egg Tart Game
Subject: LAlalala
Me Fa So La Ti Doe
Posted on 2008-07-10 at 18:10:17.
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Topic: Legacy of the Shade Lord Q&A
Subject: HAHAAHAhahah
You too could be related to something who had marital relations with a drow AND a kobold.. lmao..
Thats like finding out your granddad had a thing for goats and your long lost cousin is named "billy".
lmao.
I am sure all dragons look the same to those little things.. IF that is what a "nest father" is.
Posted on 2008-07-10 at 18:07:35.
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