Humans! They call you orcs, or goblins, or even worst. But you are proud members of the Clan of the White Ham! Orcs! Bah …. Spit! For generations the filthy humans raid your homeland, steal your gold and kill your warriors with malice. They call themselves adventurers as if doing so was a game for pleasure and fun. But there is little you could do to strike back as the humans had greater magic, sharper weapons and rode fast creatures called horses. But now the dirty stinking humans have gone too far. They came with the cursed sun and did the unthinkable – they took all your women!

Yes, while a large portion of the clan was out hunting for food, the humans came with a large party of “adventurers” and they used great magic to kill the few warriors left behind and then – they took captive all the women. No doubt an evil plot to whip out your race! Revenge must be had! The Clan of the White Ham will not stand by and die for these stinking human maggots.

By a small token of fortune, four (to six) of the humans were killed during the raid and their magic weapons and armour have been recovered. The few elders left have decided that an attack on mass would just be a slaughter that the humans wish to see, but a small group, armed with the magic of the humans might be able to sneak into the keep and find the women to rescue them. A group of 4-6 clan members can adventure right back at them! Who will volunteer?

This is not your ordinary campaign. You will play the “monsters” in a game to rescue the princesses and snatch victory from those evil evil vile foul evil humans. Below are four types of monsters you can play and their abilities described in as much detail as you need, you don’t need to worry about HP/AC or To hit as I control them anyway. So it doesn’t matter if you are 1e, 2e, 3e or 4e players, you can play this game. Equipment will be provided in a list of stuff taken from the dead and you can divide it up as you see fit. If you choose Orogs or Hobgryl, I will provide more details on spells. There are no half Orog half dragons. Stick to the list please.

Now although you are playing monsters, this is not an evil campaign. In fact, you are the good guys and the humans are the evil creatures. So if you are thinking of backstabbing and killing party members – go elsewhere. You will put aside differences and work together to rescue the women. As well you should work on a “personality” for your character monster as even the lowliest of orcs have dreams and ambitions. You would have a name and reason for volunteering.

I would like to see some new players in this game to give them a chance to play but I will see how recruitment goes. This is a one shot adventure only. I can’t see the characters developing a love for adventuring and going forth. After all, you need to repopulate the clan!

The “Subraces” of the White Ham Clan
Boggles – You are warrior! You like big weapons with sharp edges or lots of spikey things. You crash through humans like … a big crashy thing. Thinking is for leaders and you can’t lead because there are humans to kill.
Look like: 7-8 feet tall, brown fur, leathery hide, muscles (Bugbear)
Best stat: Strength (Kill!)
Good Stat: Constitution (No hurt me!)
Bad Stat: Wisdom (Huh?)
Really Bad Stat: Intelligence (Huh?)
Weapon use: Any (really…you’d use a cow as a weapon if it was close by)
Armour: Any – you’d wrap horse barding around you
AC/HP: Take lots of damage and still keep going
Skills: Your basic fighter with lots of HP

Orog – You are one with the gods of orcs. You chat with them daily and even have a few over for an ale once in awhile. You can cast spells that heal and make fire and spiritual stuff. You are a natural leader and your people respect you.
Looks Like: 5-6 feet tall, Grey fur, pale skin, thin (Orc Shaman)
Best stat: Wisdom (You talk to gods)
Good Stat: Charisma (You are a leader)
Bad Stat: Constitution (You hang around a lot of sick people)
Really Bad Stat: Strength ( you pray a lot instead of working out)
Weapon use: Single handed only
Armour: Nothing heavier than chain, shield allowed
AC/HP: Not that tough but you can stand a hit or two
Skills: Shaman/Cleric

Shulls – You are the scouts and recon of your clan. You are sneaky, hide well and enjoy a good unprotected back to put a dagger in. You aren’t a toe to toe fighter that a boggle is and you often get killed but you can regenerate so it isn’t that bad.
Looks Like: 3-4 feet tall, green rubbery skin, sunken eyes (small troll)
Best stat: Dexterity (Sneaky sneaky)
Good Stat: Intelligence (You know stuff)
Bad Stat: Strength (there is a reason why you sneak)
Really Bad Stat: Charisma (You are ugly! No really.)
Weapon use: Dagger, short sword, short bow
Armour: Leather only, no shields
AC/HP: Thank the gods you regenerate cause you die a lot.
Skills: Rogue/Thief

Hobgryls – You are dark and mysterious. You can bend the laws of physics and the universe in your hands. Well, you can cast spells (Mana: 5, lvl 2) and stuff that no one else can. So there!
Size: 4-5 feet tall, Reddish skin, hairless, Big jaws (hobgoblinish)
Best stat: Intelligence (You are smart)
Good Stat: Dexterity (you need coordination to cast spells)
Bad Stat: Strength (You need to lift books only)
Really Bad Stat: Wisdom (you blow stuff up for fun)
Weapon use: Staff and dagger only
Armour: No armour! Or Shields. Fur and robe only
AC/HP: You like to have a few boggles to hang around, behind them
Skills: Mage

I knew this was coming, but I hadn't seen the full intro. Genius! I'll be reading along with this one, no doubt.

For a certainty!

Toss your hats in the ring, people... I can practically guarantee you'll have fun with this one.

Great intro, Alacrity.

I love the idea. I too will definitely be following this one closely.

three followers and no players. Ack!

If you could put up with a slow learner I would like to play. It has been awhile since I have played and I think that this would be a great way to get back into the swing of things.

I know, I know these bad pun intro's have to...anyway, this looks like a blast and I could definitely see my me in this game...if you'll have me. As the title indicates I would like to play a Shull. I will work on a backround/name and send it to you or post it (how ever you'd prefer). Just let me know one way or the other.

Phelan

Welcome gents to the game. This one is set up so you don't need to fuss about rules and stats. Just develop a lovable monster and send it to me via PM or post here to encourage others.

Al,

I always love your sense of humour! Reading through the various monster-types... so good.

If you run shy a player, I'd be interested in one of them big fighter types. The thought of using a cow as a weapon of destruction... priceless. I'm not new, so hit me with a PM if you need me.

Ayrn

Only two players interested so far Aryn so I'd say I'm shy a few.

Maybe this is too esoteric for the RDINN crowd?

Al, I'd love to join, but I'm in too many games as it is! You have DEFIANTLY piqued my interest, but I don't think I'd have the time for another one!

Psh, the post is only a day or so old. Give it time, man.

I was just bumping back into the latest updated. I'd post the word "turtle" if I had to...

Shameless that way.

Turtle

...are an evil man. I am extremely interested in playing, however, I am already in two games, preparing for a third, and with the limited amount of comp time i have, i really just can't commit to a fourth game... i even had to cancel on Almerin....

Why couldn't you have posted this a month ago? lol


I will be following (i expect you're tired of hearing that), and if my time frees up in the future, i hope you'll have space for me