cell-phone that distracts the overly talktave boss and makes him exhale so he can speak.

I am the randon cell tower that puts your phone in roaming mode and stops timely calls.

the lightning bolt that strikes your tower disrupting your signal.

Hehehe.....

I am the bottle that captures the lightning. It doesn't happen that often, but it's awesome when it does.

(Good one, sunow4. I was actually scratching my head wondering what the frak beats lightning. )

I am the the raging tide that sweeps the bottle off the shore and into the ocean.

Another toughie...

I AM THE MOON (Who reverts your tide to a calmer state.)

I laugh!

I am an asteroid that strikes the moon blowing a hole through it's magnetic core.

I am an old school 80s arcade gamer. I blow up all the asteroids with a ship so hardcore, it is represented merely by the letter A, and I do it with one button and a trackball, on one quarter.

I'm the Beer that got spilled down the trackball and shorted out the controls.

I am Carrie Nation and I smash the beer with a hammer!

(To save y'all from going to Wiki: She was a very active, even violent, member of the Temperance Movement which led to Prohibition, a very dark time in our history.)

I am the Kansas City judge that had you expelled from the state.

I am the mobster that bribed you to make that decision.

I am Kevin Costner as Elliot Ness and I catch the mobster for failing to file income tax.

(PS Props to Odyson for his answer--equal parts creative and true!)

I am the corn field that let things escape from Kevin.

Im a harvester and i harvest the corn for lunch..........