I am Phineas Taylor Barnum and I've caged ManBearPig as one of my money making freak side shows.

(That Pit fellow would bring in some dough too,lol.)

I am a fun house mirror that confuses Barnum and makes him trip down stairs .

i am the rock that defeats the mirror with a crash

I am molten hot lava, which melts the rock

I am a certain famous gargantuan White Dragon from a popular fantasy series (name withheld for copyright reasons) and I use my arctic blast of a breath weapon to freeze the lava in it's tracks!

i am the gnome that ruins all your hard work by planting the bombs in the volcano.

I am Kurtulmak the kobold god and I have imprisoned you.

I hire the Hulk who steals Thor's hammer and mashes your authority to bits

she hulk who charms the hulk into returning the hammer

I am the dissatisfied Comic Book Guy whose blog and rampant Trollism gets She-Hulk's comic discontinued.

I am homer simpson who always defeats comic book guys by outshining them.

I am Judge Doom with paint thinner that dissolves Homer and smears the scene.

I am a plasticized sheet to defend the comics

i am the noseplugged madman who burns the plastic with a flamethrower.

I am a fire extinguisher to put out the flame