i can make fire but only using matches and a lighter and it can only be sustained if i ahave burnable material...

(Lifespring, that was only 2/3 of a pun, P.U.!!!

Alas, you have joined me in the never ending PUNishment. Although it may be 4th and one, we will PUNt when we must.

So be proud and continue to write with PUNash.)

I can find the sharp corners of furniture legs in the dark by only using my big toe.

i can summon an army of 2 normal size crickets, at will, (usually when i get a bad pun worth smiting)

I can speed up time by simply laying down on the couch, close my eyes and then open my eyes and it two hours later.

i can brush teeth at light speed!

I can summon pizza and wings with only my right index finger!

And a mouse
And a computer
And Internet access
Oh, yeah, and electricity

... lay siege to a city under control of another leader and, after crushing the enemy, rename it "Khan O' Whoopass"....

Sometimes, I love Civ I.

I can get everyone to exit the elevator by removing my shoes.

using rpg makers and this site.

I can make dozens of Innmates cringe with a single pun.

i can soothe savage beasts, that are already calm!

I can change the color of my face by only holding my breath.

I can make little kids send me hate mail every ten minutes... after the match ends of course

I can cure common ailments with just a brewing of poultry and strips of grain based meal.

i can go into a dreamlike state per day and visit unknown worlds with unworldly bounds and possibilities.