Ryst...who are you... Ted Nugent?

Stefn Nugget

THE NUGE!!!

Sorry, I pretty pissed off at the hippies over this whole thing. My favorite campground happens to be the one place in the world where a certain species of grass grows. Like a couple of hundred square yards in the whole world. Every summer, we'd go camping there and have a huge sword battle. Thousand-man armies and such. It was glorious. All that stomping around helped seed the grass. We may have been the only thing keeping that grass from extinction. Then the damned hippies found out that there's also an endangered species of butterfly there. Sometimes these butterflies would leave their hippy little caterpillars in the grass, and we would step on them (everyone assumes they would get stepped on, anyway, since no one ever saw any that we had stepped on). So we were banned from having the fight there by the EPA or somesuch.

Because one of ten million species of butterfly might be stomped into extinction. Apparently hippies don't know what those caterpillars eat. I do. THEY EAT THE ENDANGERED GRASS. F'ing morons get all uppity about mankind not having the authority to decide who lives and who dies, then explicitly choose the one over the other. All we were doing was what we naturally do, leaving the choice to natural selection.

That which has evolved to be aided in its survival by our presence deserves to live, that which has evolved to require the absence of humanity to live should be wiped off of the face of the planet.

While I'm on the subject, the entire concept of the Endangered Species List is stupid. It's random and arbitrary. Mostly kept in place by lies. Take the sperm whale. We tried to kill them. We hunted down and killed every one of the things we could find for hundreds of years, learning their migratory routes and following them. After a while, they got harder to find. We assumed we had almost killed them all. They were declared endangered and protected under the law. Do you know what the estimated world population of sperm whales was when we started hunting them? 1.5 million. Do you know what it is now? 1.8 million. That's right, this so-called "endangered species" is more populous now than ever. They were harder to find because they aren't idiots. They CHANGED THEIR MIGRATORY PATTERNS to get away from us. Survival of the fittest. The stupid whales who couldn't adapt died. The smart ones made it. Welcome to the real world. We should deal with everything this way.

It the responsibility of every species to adapt to us for its own survival. If it cannot, it does not deserve to exist.

Well I suppose that's a valid arguement. I want to see a 1000 man sword fight.

I do agree with you. Not that I want to see animals and plants extinct, but the planet evolved and survived for bilions of years before humans and I don't see us being able to do much of anything that could thwart it's existence or progress.

They say we are killing the earth...if humans are doing anything we are killing ourselves.


and the 1000 man sword fight... YEAH!!

But we really should be killing...are those damn buffalo.

Don't be fooled, now. It's a thousand-man sword fight - it's two thousand-man armies facing off. Trust me, it's a glorious sight. Especially from the front line of the winning side.

soooo...has anyone ever gotten maimed?

for sec i thought that said married
no, i've never gotten maimed

I cut my finger off, and then nearly cut it off again. Since the nerves didn't grow back the first time, I have no feeling in it, so it's easy to cut myself badly and not notice.

so the swords are actually sharpened?

Some of them, yes, are friggin' razors... but I cut my finger off years ago when I was working in a deli. "Hmmm salami doesn't usually have that much blood... Oh. Well that's not good." I'm pretty sure those were my exact words. If not, it was something very like it.

Meat, though, grows back, so you can't tell it happened by casual observation. If you look close, you can see the nail grows in weird. Nerves, on the other hand, do not grow back. Some idiot left an open straight razor on the counter in the shop one night, and while searching for something in the dark, I found that instead. I knew it was a bad cut because it hurt, which meant it cut all the way down past the bit that had been cut off. Not wanting to search around in the dark for the first aid kit (for understandable reasons, I hope), I took my pants off, wrapped it tightly, and waited for morning, by which time the wound had closed and scabbed over, so I washed it off and taped it up. now I have a somewhat different fingerprint.

not at your demise but the story.

I'm not dead yet!