In every sentence you speak, each word is in a different language. So most people only understand 10% of what you say at any given time.

I wish I had a new laptop.

You've got a new laptop! Unfortunately, you developed a severe infection due to complications from the surgery in which they removed the old top of your lap and, as a result, all the hair on your upper thighs grows green... not to mention each hair being as thick, straight, and pointy as a brand new toothpick. No one's going to want to sit on your lap for a loooooooooooooooooong time.


I wish I could think of a wish to wish.









Refrigerator!

Eol thinks of his wish... but like so many of his thoughts it is inappropriate to post here and thus will go unanswered forever. Although perhaps that is for the best as they always seem to go awry here.

I wish that Egg McMuffins were good for me...

((and btw... on that last one I'm still cringing at the thought of crossing my legs... ouch!))

Mcdonalds suddenly decides to make Egg Mcmuffins healthy. They send the request to their top scientists who begin work on it immediately. They compile a list of changes that could be made to achieve a healthier breakfast. Impressed by their work and quick results, Mcdonalds implements all of changes suggested, including the name change. Egg Mcmuffins are now called "salads"

I wish for a haircut

A single hair is plucked from your head and cut in half.

I wish for a social life.

Granted: You now have a social life. Unfortunately it is not your social life. You have the social life of a 96 year old man living in the Shady Vista Retirement Community. Remember to take your pills at 12:00, 1:30, 3:45, and 4:20. Also Bingo starts in 1 hour.

I wish I could roleplay right now.

You suddenly start roleplaying with a very naughty Grugg. (Reh? - Grugg)
I wish I was a wizard with really awesome powers.

Granted: You are a wizard with really awesome powers. You are the wizard of the silver ball. You play by sense of smell. Of course now you are deaf, dumb, and blind (as The Who says you are). You are a pinball wizard, theres got to be a twist, a pinball wizard, you've got such a supple wrist...

(Yeah Im giving my age away there)

I wish for world peace.

The world stops for 24 hours. Due to the inability to move it is peaceful.

I wish a demonic vending machine

You get one, it's named fred and will eat you if you don't tell it something every 20 minutes. Sometimes I just eats you any way though.

I wish my xbox 360 would start working again so I can continue playing on Red Faction Guerrilla which has to be one of the most addictive (and best) sandbox games because of the ability to smash or explode anything and everything (because it uses real world physics, the stress system is soooooooo cool )

EDIT: And the game, all the control and everything else has to work perfectly. I'd also like a cold fusion generator to power it and the house.

The Xbox is fixed and now works perfectly. Your cold fusion generator however doesn't. Due to a flaw in construction it fails to control the rate of the reaction causing it to cause a massive explosion consuming you, your home and the greater half of your city. By some freak accident your game and Xbox escape harm completely.

EDIT: Oh yeah, wish. I wish that the next person who posts wouldn't corrupt my wish.

The wish is incorruptible, however you realize how much of a loser you are for wasting a wish on virtually nothing as your incorruptible wish had no substance and generated no result besides making the wish granter say granted. Way to go next time you're given the chance to wish maybe you should actually wish for something.

I wish I could walk on air.

Granted you know are walking on air and you meet t_catt11 and he makes you fall back to earth.
I wish that I had my brother had a girlfriend that wasn't his comp.

granted you brother gets a fbi girlfriend who while hanging out discovers you pirating videos off the internet and arrests you...bummer.

I wish I could be transported to a D&D world and advenure for a year.

You wake up a level 1 female half-orc bard with no charisma (which might have something to do with your face). The DM God of this world is also very cruel, whenever you fail your intimidate check the NPC guts you and you come back again as a level 1 female half-orc bard. But hey at least it isn't a 9-5 right?

Wishes her house could recieve a free makeover from Restoration Hardware.