It ejects a rainbow stomach-ache with a flourish and sprinkles!

I will feed the vending machine my Pre-calculus homework and a small child's invisible friend.

It spits out a abacus with arms

I feed it a can of pepsi and a bag of jelly bellys

It showers you with Pepsi's new jelly bean flavored soda. Enjoy being the first to taste and bathe in it.

I throw in my box cutter from work and an empty ketchup packet.

You recieve from the vending machine a violent box-eating package of a tomato-based condiment.

I decide to throw in a Kinder Surprise egg, a nutcracker, and a pad of sticky notes.

It spits out an angry robot toy which constantly sticks to you while demanding chocolate for its services.

I feed it some pennies,a feather cap,and my gratitude.

Out pops a copper chicken that keeps telling you thank you in different languages.

I put in a cell phone, some shoelace and a coffee bean.

Almost triumphant, out pops from the vending machine a hyperactive speed-dial mechanism attached to shoe-based piece of reinforced string, which begins searching aimlessly for an article of abandoned footwear.

I force the vending machine to consume a sewer, a soap bubble, and Gandalf the Grey.

The DVM spits out a bearded, horrible smelling rendition of Glinda the Good Witch of the North... with an alligator in her pocketses!


I feed it all the time I've missed at the Inn these past several weeks, a handful of parking validations from the garage at the hospital, and a half empty box of fries I found under the seat of my truck.

spits out a small machine that dispenses time share vouchers that smell like *"French fried taters"*

I feed it my least favorite fellow Wal Mart associate.

It serves you a warrant for your arrest. Body disposal is apparently not one of its specialties.

I give it a paper clip, some string, and the complete literary works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

It spits out a detailed map to the location of Jimmy Hoofa.

I feed it a mimmick, a gimmick and a limrick.

With a sickening vomiting sound, it upchucks a literarily-inclined chimp with a bad sense of humour and a childish tendency for practical jokes.

I spoon-feed the vending machine Captain Kirk, a swimming pool, and a grimy Uncle John's Bathroom Reader.

The machine vomits forth a picture of a well dressed man riding a horse.

I feed my lucky shoes to the machine.

it spits out ruby slippers

i feed it an old gingerbread house from last chistmas

It discharge the 200 year old regifted Fruit Cake from Auntie Mae.

I put in whip, a wpie and a pipe.