It spits out 52 Card Pick-up with painful consequences.

I feed it two months worth of round-about BS and politics, two sledge hammers, and a half empty pack of oreo cookies.

It spits out Eol's job and then asks for listerine to clean the taste out of its mouth.

I feed it a Kalediscope, an over sized pillow and a grape.

It spits out a confusing evening with Boone's Farm Apple Wine and a body pillow with the image of Kasumi (Dead Or Alive video game hawttie)on it. All I know is somebody who shall remain nameless (and unfed) put vids of this on youtube and I live forevermore in shame. Thank you ever so much. There shall be a special place in the Nine Hells for you. No it will not have a jacuzzi.

I feed it a can of compressed air, an M-80 firecracker, and the skin of an orc.

It spits out the absolutely grossest safety air bag the realms have ever seen! Good thing they're single-use items, huh?

I feed it a Wookiee and a can of Great Stuf (compressed expansion foam used to seal cracks.)

Odyson! and a droid with its arms ripped off.

I feed it a bottle of Estancia Pinot Gricio a cell phone and a Star Trek Enterprise NX 01 model.

A Phaser set on stupid drunk that gives you a hangover.

I fed it a two dollar bill, a kilt and a sprig of misteltoe.

I regurgitates an amorous-looking bagpiper working for a charity and $1.50 in change.

I feed it a sack filled with knives, a fancy hat, and fourteen and a half left socks harvested from the bodies of my enemies.

It spits out ten pounds of smelly, sparkly lint.

I feed it a Droid smartphone with the language setting unexpectedly changed to Spanish

It spit out a Bobblehead R2D2 doing a Taco Bell ad.

I fed my BP Charge Card, a watch and a left shoe.

It spits out Oil of Olay Timeless Feet Treatment!

The DVM then takes Ody's hint, gets up, finds the BP president, and breaks off all six of its feet in his tuchis. About time someone, or in this case something, did.

I feed it my Lost DVD's and a Garmin

...a series of numbers, the relevance of which will be undetermined but theorized upon for all time, and directions to 1977.

I feed it Pit's thesaurus, a vial of facelick concentrate, and all of the Innmates who have joined this year but have yet to post anything.

It spit out a case of Verbal Diarrea, the party pack size. Just twist off the top of a long neck bottle and enjoy the smooth flow of aged rhetoric. Now available in "Pop Culture,Diatribe or Pontification."

I fed it a Sham-Wow, a pine cone and a ABBA eight track.

It spits out New Zealand singing sensation Wing crooning her melodious alto version of "Fernando"

There was something in the air that night
The stars were bright, fernando
They were shining there for you and me
For liberty, fernando
Though I never thought that we could lose
There’s no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, fernando

All the while dabbing her forehead with a parchment on which is scribed "Otto's Irresistible Dance." It gets hot in the limelight, you know.



I feed it a skateboard, a videocamera, and a Kobold

It spits out a DVD of the Geico Gekko's not so pretty appearance at the X-games... (Sure, you pull the tail off and it'll grow back but you catch that little bugger under your deck while you're grinding the rail... *wince*... gotta be more than that left to grow anything else back.)

I feed it a box of chocolate coated grasshoppers, a three pound bag of cayenne pepper, and an armpit hair from a werebear.

Wolfgang Puck's latest offering at Spago's. That's what Wolfie calls "fusion."

I feed it Bill Shatner's toupee and a scroll of Empowered Lightning Bolt