Poof you turn into a flying tiger. flying tiny tiger. You join my other two flying tiny tigers in buzzing and mewing and looking cute.

I wish I had a tail.

You have a tail! You have T-Rex's tail. It is rather heavy to lug around, hard to get through doors and forget about taking the bus.

I wish bad people wore signs.

Bad people now wear signs that say free candy just hop in the van.

I wish my size matched my tail.

Granted! But everyone is afraid of you and they exile you from human civilization. You are forced to live out ther rest of your life in Antartica. Where it is very very cold.

I wish I could join Star Fleet!

granted you enroll in Starfleet and do fairly well on your exams. You are stationed aboard a science vessel with a new warp 12 warp drive but the new warp drives uses so much energy that it can only function for 3 hours and while it is the ship must be kept at very low energy usage. No lights turn on, all temps are set for 20 degrees fahrenheit, and the replicators are turned off.

I wish the my tail would have a heat source attached to it that didn't hurt me.

btw, weren't you made immune to fire in an earlier post?

Your tail warms you oh so toaster-iffic and the entire ice sheet melts, plunging us all into such a horrifying waterlogged reality that makes the Waterworld movie look good in comparison.

I wish for 5th ed D&D to release now, ready or not.

Fifth edition is released today at a super premium price of $500 per book. Being from the future this is toted as a mega deal and you being gullible buy 20 books. However since you're the only one with the books you also have no one to play with as everyone else is happy with 4th or lower.

I wish I had eyes on the back of my head.

You constantly run into things, until one day you walk into the rail of a bridge, trip, and fall and make a big hit on the railroad beneath it. Meanwhile, observers have discovered a new color of red paint.

I wish stupid people would cease to clutter up existance.

all the stupid people have to deal wuth a holocost event and then russia comes for you.
I wish that we all got cookies from merideth

Meri dons her 'Domestic Diva' apron and goes about the kitchen like a tasmanian devil baking all day. At the end of the day there is a veritable mountain of cookies sitting on the kitchen table. All different kinds, chocolate chip, Andes mint chip (these are particularly yummy if you've never had them), peanut butter, sugar, oatmeal raisin (her favorite so don't hoard them please), there is even a cheesecake, lemon bars, rice crispy squares and a platter full of cupcakes decorated to look like penguins. A sign is displayed over them all: Welcome Innmates! There is milk and hot cocoa to go with it all, and if you show your ID she might even slip a little bit of raspberry vodka in that cocoa for an added treat

However... after spending all day preparing for this festivity she collapses. The newsletter does not get finished, Olan has no one to reddit the LD comic for him, Eol looses his muse and Ion forgets how to dance in his greif. Meri and Tus are banned after this by Al in a rage over the catastrophic ramifications it has had on the Inn...

I wish I had the guts and the money to get my tattoo fixed finally.

After getting banned from the inn you spend the countless hours you were spending on the inn working a second job and so make the money needed to fix your tattoos, however there isn't a decent tattoo artist in a hundred miles.

I wish Al would forgive just Meri and unban her.

Your wish, Ion, is granted. Meri and Al make up all nicey-nice, the planets align, the angels sing! As Aragorn said, and rightly so, "Don't speak of such things, not even in jest!" The mere fact that the reconciliation went so swimmingly is corruption enough, doncha think? 'Cuz stuff like that don't happen to me IRL anyway.

Okay (no more talk of Meri banishment!) I wish I lived on Spooner Street, Quahog RI!

(Love me some Family Guy even if Robot Chicken has better SW humor! :BA

Alright... granted. You live on Spooner St. However your stuff does not. You are hunkered down in a trash can, living off scraps and smelling terribly. But hey at least you can be amused!

I wish Pandora had a few more options when creating a station.

Granted Pandora has added a few more crappier options for making a station. They're more complicated and do less but their options.

I wish I could walk on my hands

Your arms grow another 3 feet, keeping your hands on the ground at all times. In addition to longer arms, you can no longer lift them out of the way of your lumbering feet, which then causes you to literally walk on your hands, unavoidably stepping and stomping on your once-intact hands over and over throughout the rest of your days.

I wish for lasers to shoot out of my eyes on my command