The addle-pated Djinn gets you a job as British Petroleum's new VP of Media Relations. Go ahead--convince us there's no oil spill out there! Or at the very least, that there's a workable response planned.

"We care about the 'small people'." This was an actual quote from one of BP's spin doctors some weeks ago. I'm so glad BP is looking out for Gnomes and Halflings.


I wish one of every Ioun Stone in the DMG (3.5 ed, please)

The afore mentioned wish was miscommunicated. We fear the results were that Ion got Stoned on MGD. Please resubmit your request at another time.

I wish to find a peaceful vacation escape.

The Addle-Pated Djinn merrily sends you on an all expense paid trip to the dark side of the moon. There are no weapons, no indigenous life-forms, no dangerous weather formations, no people, no internet or cell phone service, no one to give you poor customer service, no technology outside your 25th century enviro-suit, no politicians, no door-to-door salespeople, no religious zealots, no traffic, no crappy instrumental versions of yesterday's hits, no movies directed by Uwe Boll, no Justin Bieber, no Chris Hansen and "To Catch a Predator," no flowers to aggravate your allergies, no sun to blind you or burn your skin, no government, no taxes.

Just take in all the peaceful nothing around you, get into the Lotus Pose and find your center and relax--until your oxygen runs out.


I wish for the "Calvin and Hobbes" comic strip to return.

Granted, King Syndicated Features is releasing a new feature.

A new comic strip featuring the philosophy of Thomas Hobbes and the fashion of Calvin Klien to form a social exposé on the future of absolutism.


I wish for a New car.

By golly, it's Mint in the Box! It's a Nissan Skyline GT-R R34 V-spec Nur Limited Track Edition. Brought to you by Mattel and Hot Wheels. Hey, did I mention it has that neato color-shifting paint?


I wish for 20 new people to join RDI and post introductions today.

"We have a special report. 20 people have just recently joined the RDI and are spamming people's threads. Particularily Pit F(r)iend's pages."

Happy now?

I wish I could meet a penguin and keep it as a pet.

(I LOVE PENGUINS!)

The Addle-pated Djinn has heard your plea for polar avian companionship--and has sent you to Antarctica. Seeing as how this is Summer here, you are unfortunately not properly dressed for the climate. Oh, and if it's Summer here, it's actually Winter down there. And it's very, very dark. You can barely see your new penguin pet. It is only a matter of time before you fail enough Fortitude and Will Saves and you eat it. And then inevitably turn into a popsicle.

Maybe you should have wished for a Pengin Chinpokomon. I hear they were rather rare.


I wish to be Chinpokomon Master!

The Addle-pated Djinn is slightly hard of hearing but still granted your wish. You are now David Seville and you are the Master of Alvin, Simon and Theodore.


I wish to learn how to make wine.

Granted! You learn the mystic and eldritch art of making wine--from beets. Despite the most lavish advertising and promotion campaign of all time, the beet wine fails horribly. At least it pairs well with borscht! Filet Mignon? Enh, not so much.

I wish for the "Lost" finale to be rewritten.

The final episode was rewritten, but it was "Lost".

I want to find the end of the Rainbow.

You found the end the raindbow,but nothing's there but light.



I want to be the richest man in the world!

In six more years (you know, when you become a man?)

I wish I had more posts per week in my Diabolic Genesis game.

Granted!
Unfortunately they are all in Limerick.

I wish to have a really nice garden.

the garden goddesses have granted your nice garden wish, its beautiful, unfortunately all the flowers are man eaters, and toxic.

I wish I could play the bagpipes.

You can play the bagpipes..... horribly. Luckily, no one seems to notice.

I wish I was a better DM.