a few miles North of your noggin at noon...not a blatant lie, another way of looking at it




why are there bubbles in the tub when you fart? (umm...can I say "fart" here? Yes.)

This is simple. Stink cannot penetrate water. So, when the stink comes out of your... gas expeller the water forms a bubble around the stink, escorting it out of the mass of water to where the rest of your stink is. If you notice the size of the bubble is exactly ANTI-perportionate to the stink of the gas that is passed. The stronger the stink the closer the water has to keep an eye on it.

Also, as a point of interest, this is why people use water to bathe in. When submerged in water the people stink will be pushed away from the person, left to dissapate without its host body. And if you don't believe me, smell your left hand and then take a bath with that same hand never getting near the water. When you step out, take a sniff of it and you will see all the stink has collected onto that hand making it smell 10 times worse than before.


(Holy crap I can't believe I got that much outa that question.)

Why are people hungry after exercise?

Because they are filled with the manly desire to consume!





If you rearrange the letters in "Grugg" what does it spell?

it




why do I get sunburned instead of a tan?

Because your just like superman and the only thing protecting us from your villanous rampage is the fact that your skin refuses to absorb the suns rays. Instead it causes you pain in order to hopefully persuade you to stay indoors and save the planet from complete domination. Your skin is our savior by getting a sunburn. Thank you skin.

Why is bacon so damn tasty?

Well... Before Zeus began his campaign of sleeping with just about every human girl he could find he had actually fallen in love with a pig and was having a rather odd romance with it. When Hera found out she blew a gasket and decided to curse the pig. The best curse she could come up with was the curse of tastiness, therefore the humans would slaughter not only the pig Zeus loved but all the other pigs in order to eat it's tasty little hind quarters. This would end the romance wit that pig and all other pigs. It did work, Zeus left the pigs to the pig farmers, but then he moved onto maidens and hero's wives, and Hera went about cursing all of them too, it's amazing she had any free time at all with all that cursing.

Why is the most complete T-Rex ever found named of all things Sally?

Because that's her name.






If I jump twice, crouch twice, look left twice then right twice, yell "BEE" and "EH!" then start...will I get 30 lives?

You will get 28 lives and ownership of a garage in buffalo.

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Why do birds suddenly appear, everytime you are near?

Just like me, they long to be Close to you.

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Can you touch MC Hammer?

no...Hammer is untouchable. His Harem pants generate a force field that is inpenetrable as well as being air conditioned.


why do cameras make us look fatter?

Alien Space Bats.


Do you like potatoes?

No. I can't stand potatoes in the plural. They are like a little gang, coming in ... constantly watching you with all those eyes. I only like a single potato. One that I can bake and deal with on a personal level instead of worrying constantly what all those other potatoes are doing inside my pantry. Who knows, those little spuds could be plotting against me.

Probably are. Nightshade family.

Why does "Thumbs Up" mean good and "Thumbs down" mean bad?

Because Grugg's alien space bats see our thumbs as gods; when they are watching from orbit and see a thumb pointing upward they think the gods are looking at them and they rain down all sorts of goodness as an offering to the tiny deities; when a thumb is pointing down they cannot see it; thus they think we earthlings are trying to hide the gods from them, and they rain down bad things accordingly, as an act of terrible vengeance. So be cautious...the thumb-worshipping alien space bats are up there...and they are watching...ready to make you look hideously obese in a photograph when you really only weigh 75 pounds. Bewaaaaare!

Why do choosy moms choose Jif?

That is a common missquote. Choosy moms don't choose Jif, they choose JEFF. He was a kid that lived down the street and all those choosy moms liked Jeff better than all their own children. Jeff was/is a really good guy... better than you.


Why is the idea of Tacitos so perfect but the execution of them always so terrible?

Mexican food has made a huge impact on our everyday lives. We crave it which makes our governmnet very wary of it so they have decided to make "an example" of Tacitos and execute any they see crossing the border.
A Tacito is a terrible thing to waste



why is sugar bad for you?