...if they weren't there would be more things like 'baby seal mcnuggets' and 'li'l lamb whoppers' on the value menus of every single fast food restaurant out there.




Why do we continue to 'believe' the promises of politicians on the campaign trail when we've been taught by history that, regardless of who may actually win, those promises go right out the window once election day has come and gone?

We all wanna do the "politically correct" thing. Now, political correctness is defined (by one source) as: "A doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."


Will Charlie Brown ever marry Lucy?

Shiny thing...turd?? (just for Eol) hee hee


Charlie and Luce (as he calls her) have been secretly married for years. Shortly after their first meeting on the set of "The Great Pumpkin" the two struck up a friendship and began dating casually. Their relationship grew into love after being cast opposite each other in several more epic dramas. In order to keep the edginess in their onscreen performances they were forced to keep their intimate relationship hidden. Eventually they were unable to keep it a secret. Snoopy, Charlie's best friend for years, let the cat out of the bag after a heated argument with Charlie over line stealing.



how DO they get those ships in those little bottles?

Unfortunately Lucy recently had a sex-change operation and became Louie. As a result, Charlie Brown is now chasing Lindsay Lohan.

Why do yellow and blue make green?

Duncan is correct. Lucy DID have a a sex chnage which prompted Charlie to look elsewhere for his lovin' and they did get a divorce but the rumor that he is seeing Lindsay Lohan is not true. He has, however, been seen leaving the New York city apartment of the Olsen twins.



Yellow and blue make green because green is stubborn and wouldn't do it if they just asked politely.


speaking of the Olsen's...why is one prettier than the other if they are twins?

Because one of them stole Austin Powers' mojo...and his chest hair.

Why, oh why, did Mini-Me (Verne Troyer) make a *ahem* naughty tape?

(He really did. Ack.)

so Duncan would have something to watch on those lonely Friday nights.





who shot JR?

I did. Then I planted the gun at your house. Then I called the cops. Unfortunately, they arrested Verne Troyer.

Why can't we all just get along?

cuz some of us can only afford ashort





why does Miss America have to do the swimsuit competetion?

Because the gorilla suit competition was a massive public relations failure.

Who watches the watchers?

no one. The watchers are exempt from being watched.
This came about because years ago the watchers were also watched but technically that made them "the watch"ed". Because of the confusion this caused the exemption was created.



why is my right foot bigger than my left?

Because your left foot is prettier than your right foot, and the right foot felt it had to do something to compensate and made itself bigger.

Why can't I ever see a movie with Ray Liotta in it without thinking of him eating his own brains?

Because you're a zombie, Merideth, and you can't stop thinking about that kind of thing.

Why can't I find my keys?

Because Ray Liotta thought they were his brains at ate them. To get them back you will have to dig into major amounts of squishiness, or wait till they are passed... I'm not sure which is better... hey that should be in that other thread!

Is it true that we cannot digest bubble gum?

no that is not true. where do you think farts come from?
yep...that's right...internal combustion of digested bubblegum.



why is Florida the retirement capital of the world?