Cause brown wasn't an option



WHy do you ask basic questions?

matches my shoes



just where IS Waldo?

Behind the giant candy cane.

If I have 3 apples, and I take 2 of them, how many apples do I have?

on where you took them to.





at what speed does energy become light?

...seeing as light is energy I would say that it's got to get up to at least zero and a half... give or take the square root of a round pi.


What does it take to out-weird the Gruggster?

Alacrity shaving off all his body hair - including the moustache.


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Why would you put lipstick on a pig anyway?

Hmmm... because you couldn't pick up a date at the family reunion.


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What exactly is a super collider, anyway?

A normal collider in skintight spandex with a cape.





I am an old pot?

(...yes that's my question)

You're not old.



what is toe jam?

its a nightclub your toes go to when you're asleep.


What is the importance of physics in construction?

You need physics in construction to make sure you get pi(e)




why does coffee give you bad breath?

Because Proctor and Gamble (makers of Scope) pay the coffee growers to use a secret bad breath causing agent on their coffee beans.


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Does anyone look good in spandex?

Despite the seemingly universal claim that 'spandex is not a right, it's a privilege', everyone looks fantastic in spandex... beauty is in the eye of the beerholder, after all.

Pardon me... ...That was a difficult lie to stomach.

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Do you know the way to San Jose?

It's over there --->




If, for example, I were to wearing a giant hot dog suit and a jetpack, and fly to the moon, would you be my valentine?

yes




What is an occasional table the rest of the time?