Wal-Mart did have one of the first Stock Cars but it Rolled Back! So of course it was stocked out. Beside did anything fast come from Arkansas? Who would a yellow smiley face on the side of your car, it would look like a taxi.

So tell me why Lawful Good is Good?

So, are you asking "Is Lawful Good actually the paragon of Goodness, the diametric opposite of Evil?" Or, perhaps, are you asking "Is [playing] Lawful Good actually Good [for my enjoyment of the game]?"

Ahem. As a somewhat powerful entity of the Lower Realms currently on vacation from Nessus, I assure you that the question as first posed is correct. My collection of shrunken paladin heads will attest to that. The question as posed in the second part is answered by a definite "No." In this fiend's humble opinion, the Lawful Good alignment is a horrifying set of shackles that hampers almost every aspect of roleplaying. From the character's inception on through that fateful day the GM says "hand in your sheet," a LG PC finds itself hamstrung by a litany of regulation and tradition that snuffs out nearly all independent thought and choice. Gotta tithe to the church, gotta help the poor, gotta run errands (euphemistically called "quests") for the church-king-damsel-yadda-yadda. And that's just non-combat situations. Combat? Did I mention the paladin heads? Some of those guys had less than 10HP when they met me. "Wait, go heal up," I say. "At least make this interesting. Yeah I rolled a 20 on that Survival Check and it doesn't look good for you right now with all the extra holes in you, so. . .naturally you're charging me, screaming battle cries. Okay then, Sparky." *SMACK!!*

Since when did Lawful Good mean Lawful Stupid, are you with me on this? Try Lawful Evil. Yeah, we have a strictly enforced caste system, instant punishment for failure and disobedience, and our reward system may be a bit tardy. . .

But we let you use explosives! And our resistances are better. And the weekly Hawaiian-style/Cajun BBQ's are just epic! Oh, and our 401(k), stock options, and profit-sharing plans can't be beat in all the realms. Ah, and in 4th edition, we got the succubi on our team, go figure. Not complaining there, mind you.




So, will Kevin Smith ever make a good movie again?

Didn't you see "Fat Guy on a Plane"? Sure... it's not what you'd call "feature length" or anything... but... instant classic, I'm tellin' ya!


What is the deal with Eol's green and pink hat, anyhoo?

It matches his green and pink boxers. A guy's gotta have matching accessories.

Why do I know this?

Well it's a little know item that Eol even had pets. The twin boxers are that rear bred that can change color to match thier owner's mood. The hat was the first joyful thing, but boxers romping and playing, even blending into the background just brighten the oh so dull life their owners lead. Mood boxers are such fun. A happy boxer on your lap can be so stimulating.

Why are Gnomes so misunderstood?

Blame WotC for puttin' the short buggers in the Monster Manual instead of the Player's Handbook. Well, the _first_ PHB at any rate. I have to buy the second PHB to play a Gnome? Oh, Joy! I have to buy the _Third_ PHB to run a Psion?? Such Rapture! I have to buy the second Monster Manual to have the Metallic Dragon stats? Be still my beating heart!

Hey, why not combine the fourth PHB (coming soon!) with the next MM and call it "Unwieldy Rule Conflux: Are You Feeling Boned, Yet?"


Sooooo, what can I expect in 5th Edition D&D?

...but I'm afraid that Majel Barret Roddenberry has taken over the reigns of the D&D franchise so, for 5e you can expect new classes like "Yeoman", "Ship's Computer", "Green Chick", "Nurse Betty", and "Mudd Woman". Also, requirements for gaining levels now include things like "must have been cast as every inconsequential character in more than 3 modules per campaign" and "married the creator so I can do whatever I durn-well please."


What can Pit not expect in 5e?

In 5e Pit F(r)iends will be NPC's. Totally at the mercy of the DM. The only way to level up is to become a Bard.

Sing us song there Big Red!

"Sing us a song, You're the Devil Man,
Sing us a song of Fright.
Well we're all overdue for a malady,
Soon we won't feel oh so right"

(apologies to Mr. Joel)

(Edit: Just so we're clear, the BOL in this case is I hardly ever sing songs of frightful malady. Not at the Inn at least.)


So, James Cameron is making two sequels to Avatar. Why will they suck as much as the Matrix sequels?

Because everyone knows Avatars taste like "chicken".

Can the remake of "Nightmare on Elm Street" come close the suspence of the original?

You died. You are in your own personal Hell that you picked. Remember, you said to the highest power, " Just send me to hell, or rdinn, it'd be about the same to me."

Boy can you ever pick up a que there Big Red. Way to go PF.
I hope I can survive these verbal sparings.

So is the pointer on a compass north polarity or south polarity?

Sorry, Ody--a compass only points to Santa Claus. Doubt me? Try it any Christmas Eve and watch it go bonkers as it tracks St. Nick on his physics-defying ride. Warp 3, Mr. Sulu!

Oh, My!


Is there anything Grugg won't eat? If so, what is it?

Well I'd have say that with an Avatar looking like that it shouts "Feed Me". I have heard that he went to a Koerean Bar-b-que and asked for a side of grits. There for it stands to reason no food or even a close facsimile is safe near that mahl.

If your D20 is not rolling good numbers should cleans and naturalize it in sea salt or let it sit on the light of a full moon?

Neither- just swish it around in some olive oil, pre-heat the oven to 425○ and while waiting throw some paprika, a bit of garlic and some nutmeg over it. Then bake for 30 minutes before flipping and adding cheese. Put it in for another 10 minutes to melt the cheese, then serve... I mean play.

Heda is hoping to hop to Tahiti to hack a hibiscus to hang on her hat. Now Heda has hundreds of hats on her hatrack so how can a hop to Tahiti help that?