But now the bees have developed the ability to sting you with their stares, from hundreds of feet away.





I wish that my dog would be done shedding her winter coat, so that I could be done vaccuming.

Instead of the soft fur a dog normally sheds, the fir turns to stone, weighing 15lbs per fur strand. The vacuum is no longer capable of picking them up

I wish bicycles were the air conditioned.

Me too! Wish granted, but then they would be in the winter too.




I wish I had a powerfull dog hair magnet that could attract all the loose dog hair strait to the end of the driveway in a trash can so that it would be the problem of the trash men.

And it would, but it would attract all the hair in the world and completley blanket your neighborhood.

I wish I had cheese.

You have cheese made from the milk of a whale. It tastes a salty I bet.

I wish I knew where I put the tv remote im tired of watching the weather channel.

But now that you have found the remote it is broken and all you get is the Home Shopping Network channel all the time.



I wish I could sleep in tommorow and catch up on my sleep. Instead of being to work by 8:00am, my boss would call and rescedual me for noon.

I could say Granted: You're fired, but that has been used already and it doesn't really apply.

Granted, but the overnight Thunderstorm keeps waking you up and there is a three car pile-up on *Insert Major Road on route to Work* around Noon when there wasn't one around 8.


I wish I could use magic.

Oh, and my boss in real life was fired this week. I hadn't known that.


Your wish is granted but all your spells are opposite of what they are supposed to be.



I wish for that thunderstorm.

Wish granted: You're house gets hit by lightning, destroying everything inside.

I wish I was immortal.

Wish granted, but you are a snail.




I wish that I had a horse.

Granted, a stick of jerk or jerky you become, but someone eats you.




I wish I had enough money for a horse as well as owning a home, raising a child as a single parent, paying up the wazoo for gasoline in my car, ect.......

but you become a quadrapalegic and squander your money on trying to walk again...

I wish PLaster molds for ceramics wighed one tenth what they currently weigh...

Granted - but now they are more breakale and break after every tenth use.




I wish that all people who throw trash out their car windows would accually get caught and fined.

All people who throw trash out their windows get caught and fined but so do anyone who puts trash outside or wat is thought to be trash. Our homes fill with garbage and really stink. The world become a trash planet. We move to the moon and trash that also and we eventually become part pig to live in the waste we cause going from planet to planet trashing them in the search for a mystical clean world. We eventually become trash ourselves. There by completing the cycle.

(That was kind ogf funny I dont personally think it would go that far but would be ironic)

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I wish that my boss would stop leaving me voicemails to call back but when i call back is out of office not there yet or like other day is on vacation.

Granted. You reach him and you're fired.


I wish for a tomato.