Astrophysics.


How to you spell kaboodle?

I don't, you do.



Why don't we understand everything?

We do. We just don't remember it for very long ...

We all know what's at the end of the rainbow. What's at the end of the sidewalk?

As sides are always attached to tops or bottoms the end of a sidewalk is attached to a topwalk or bottomwalk.

Why do phone psychics ask who they are talking to; shouldn't they already know?

They want to know if YOU know who you are. It's always a good starting point.



Why don't the hairs on your arm get split ends?

Originally (circa Adam/Eve) it used to happen. In the late 1600's, this design flaw was rectified (except in the middle east) and now the only time it happens iw on genetic "throw-backs"

Are "southpaws" the backward ones or are the "others"?

since the left side of the brain controls the right side of the body and the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, only lefthanders are in their right mind.


Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

It doubles as a bucket to scrape and carry off what is left after impact with the side of a ahip (or deck, or building, or tarmac, or whatever), for those with a sensitivity to gore and such stuff ...


Know about smurfs. Know about Shmoos (Shmoon?). Where do Jeeps come from? Not the vehicle, the characters from Popeye cartoons ...

The fourth dimension originally.
(I love Wikipedia)


Why does lemonade have artificial flavoring but dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Real lemons have been found to cause cancer and so are not fit ot actually eat. The lemon growers union convinced the dishwashing liquid guild that the strong lemon acids would simply eat the dried on food off your dishes.

Why do 'laptop' computers usually sit on a desk and 'desktop' ones sit on the floor?

Because floor-top was market tested and found too confusing to the North American consumer.


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Why do so many people who call themselves strippers know nothing about removing paint and come to work dressed inappropiately? Does Mike Holmes know about this?

Depending on your point of view (and maybe gender):
Some can and do, and they don't. He might and didn't tell anyone else ...

What is Murphy's (of the Laws) real name?

Hank.

What's the difference between an orange?

Without buttons and feathers, only two and a half (a.k.a. 2½) ...

Bear with me:
If yesterday always was, never is, and never will be,
today never was, always is, and never will be, and
tomorrow never was, never is, but always will be,
at what point does what will be become what was?

the nature of the universe is change. there is never a moment of non-change. things that were, is, and will be are all the same and at the same time. all is now.



If Wal-Mart is lowering prices everyday, why isn't there anything free yet?