stopped, the elephant the Mare was standing on bottomed out.

I wish it would snow.

It snowed 10 feet but now you have to dig out your two dogs and four cats

I wish for world peace

ps Athel...snow is in the forecast for Friday
It's begining to feel a lot like Christmas!!

This world is peaceful just in time to get attacked by ten others.






I wish my monkey had a toupee.

The monkey gets a toupee, and then he dies.

I wish for a blueberry.

Next morning, you find a blueberry smashed in the front pocket of your best shirt. The stain is huge and it'll never come out. Plus you have a meeting today with your boss and all your other shirts are at the cleaners, which is closed because it's an obscure but vital ancient Scandinavian holiday currently observed only by the Church of Thor, Reorganized.

I wish I had a Ph.D.

You have a PhD in creating false PhD's, this, of course, leads to your subsequent arrest for falsifying documents. So much promise...wasted in one shallow attempt at faking a good education.







I wish I didn't see all the bad possibilities in people's future's.

You see only the best the future has to offer but since good and bad are relative to your perception, you miss out on a lot of "bad" information that may have helped you become a stronger person.



I wish I could meet Sting.

You meet Sting when you accidentally run him over with your car and have to wait for the ambulence to arrive. He presses charges and you go to prison for wreckless endangerment and driving under the influence of Sting music.








I wish I could play the drums well.

You become on the worlds greatest drum players and play for an internationally acclaimed rock band but at the height of your career you lose all your hearing and both you arms are lost in a freak Ice cream stand / Macerena accident while under the influence of drugs ending your career and forcing you to work in a sweatshop in Bangladesh sewing shoes with your teeth in order to survive.

I wish I could travel through time...

You travel through time but not linear time...you travel in circular time and eventually become dizzy and disoriented and keep missing your stop.
You end up a wino begging for coins to feed the guacamole habit you acquired back in 3089.


I wish I had a banana sandwich which has been wrapped in wax paper and let sit in a picnic basket for 4 hours until it's warm, and a big glass of sweet tea, some barbecue chips and a fried chicken breast.

You had a banana sandwich which has been wrapped in wax paper and let sit in a picnic basket for 4 hours until it's warm, and a big glass of sweet tea, some barbecue chips and a fried chicken breast....but the wino above stole it from you.







I wish I was cooler than all of you.

You get your wish, but the fact that you had to wish to be cooler crushes your self exteem and you cease your coolnessity.

I wish I could go to sleep.

Your name is Claffus Shindongahummpadingerflinkernikkulappogusiola Jones. Needless to say, every kid on every school-yard on earth now wants to kick your ass.






I wish I had a Christmas present for every day of the year.

you are two busy unwrapping your presents to notice the rising tide of holiday wrapping paper and are soon buried alive in it until the end of of time. because your gift givers spent so much on presents on you that they resent you....

I wish i could have that bananna sandwich again... I loved that sandwich

You suddenly feel a great urge to puke...
-I don't need to explain the rest, do I?-

I wish the laundry would fold itself