Granted. Your boss understands basic math, but has no comprehension for anything else.



I wish my ex-husband lived in Corpus too so my children wouldn't be going to the other side of the country for the whole summer.....

He lives in Corpus...on your patio



I wish I could tap into my will power more easily

You are gifted with a hammer, chisel, and the knowledge that "will" is located in the frontal lobe in the cerebral cortex. You can now tap into it any time you wish. If you've got the... guts.


I wish for a chocolate banana.

Your Banana is covered in Chocolate but it is frozen stiff at the North Pole, you have to find it first. I believe that Rudolph buried it under some Raindeer dirt to keep Santa from finding it.

I wish I had a billion bucks.

unfortunately the food costs bankrupt you




I wish I could work with my old TOCO comrades again

You will when the zombie plague comes you and your old comrades will rise again to eat the brains of the living. Ahh.. teamwork is sweet... sweetbread sweet.

I wish people had to qualify for the ability to have babies, otherwise they would be sterile.

They do. But since 'having a baby' is rather a random chance kind of thing... you now have to fill out a 150-page form, in triplicate, and wait 2-7 weeks for approval before engaging in any sort of activity that "...may or may not lead to the creation of a new human life..."

Well done.



I wish there was some way to actually win the Last One to Post Here... game.

But you have to feed the Grugg in order to do it.

I wish I could pay off my credit card debt with dandelions.

You can pay your debts with dandelions! All you have to do is sell enough of them. I belive a pound of dried leaves goes for $9.50. It is used as a way for your liver to increase bile processing and with wieght loss. Just takes alot of them.

I wish I had all the toys.

all the toys are yours...you win and then you die cuz we all know those with the most toys when you die wins.
CONGRATULATIONS and RIP.



I wish I didn't have a class tonight.

Granted! Tonight you will feel the uncontrollable urge to dress like a hooker. Your mind will see everything in the most gutteral way possible. You will make inappropriate jokes about people's sexual tastes and you just might sleep with a few random people just so they might like you better. (Lol... sorry but you asked for it)

I wish I had a nickle for every time someone said "I wish I had a nickle..."

You got it...however, rising inflation costs make that nickel worth about a tenth of a cent. Don't spend it all in one place now.


I wish gas wasn't so friggin expensive

"frigging." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. 11 Jun. 2008. Dictionary.com http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/frigging.

Congratulations. You no longer have to give ANY sex for gas... but now it costs everybody 50$ a gallon. Maybe you shoulda just stayed with frigging for the good of everyone.

I wish the French didn't act so French.

(No offense intended to any French people out there on this site. The offense was only intended for French people who do not ever view this message.)

*poof* The French now act American... and you now act French. So put on that striped shirt, beret, and start puffing at that cig while wagging your eyebrows at women and going 'uh huh huh...' in a deep suggestive voice while eating a croissant!

I wish I knew all the constellations.

in fact, you guys get together ALL the time. Unfortunately the police are usually called for noise cessation and you all end up in a tiny little jail cell which is not the place to be when a drunk Gemini decides to have an episode of schizophrenia.



I wish I was a Viper pilot