time has been reversed and at the moment of explosion, you are instantly transported 100 miles away and need to get back in time for a final exam. With gas prices as high as they are it ends up costing you an arm and a leg...literally.



I wish gas prices would drop to 25 cents a gallon

Granted! But now my arm and leg are in your gas tank. Best of luck running your car in that shape.

I wish I had my arm and leg back.

but they have been gnawed to pieces. Nummy



I wish I had tenderized Duncan's arm and leg first.

Granted! You magically whiz back in time and tenderize my arm and leg before they go in your gas tank...but now there's a funky smell in your car that will never come out.

Smells like feet...wrapped in leathery, burnt bacon. Heh.

I wish we could get out of this wish cesspool we're sinking further and further into. Hehehe

along comes a good samaritan (not to be confused with a good Spartan) and pulls us out of the wish cesspool.
Unfortunately the stench of a thousand corrupted wishes cling to us like white on rice and no-one wants to be around us anymore.



I wish I was taller

Granted! But you have trouble finding clothes off the rack now...not many clothes made for people that are 27 feet tall.

I wish I was thinner.

where's Duncan? You land the lead in Thinner 2.
Need I say more?





I wish I wasn't a procrastinator.

Granted! You do everything that is on the back burner all at once...next thing you know, you're in an asylum and your brain is short-circuited.

I wish my stimulus check would hurry up and arrive.

Just as the Stimulus Fairy prepares to deposit it into your account she gets mugged by the Debt Fairy who promptly delivers it to all the evil merchants you have made deals with.




I wish I had 2 kidneys so the one would have some company

Granted! You now have two kidneys...but the old one immediately dislikes the new one, and they begin the Great Organ Civil War. Once harmonious organs now battle with blade and claw...sleeping is now exceedingly difficult. Dang newcomer kidney.

I wish I had a pet monkey.

you do...his name is King Kong




I wish for all good things to happen to all the Innmates

Granted! And, um, well....er....I just can't bring myself to corrupt that one. Heh.

I wish that my pet monkey hadn't flattened my face.

He didn't...but you looked better after he did.



I wish I could meet all the Innmates in person...then run away and hide

Granted! But then we all find you at once...and your clothing has mysteriously disappeared.

Awkwaaaaard...

I wish my roommates would stop bickering so much.

they no longer bicker...now you have to endure their public display of affection (making out)




I wish the Indians had gotten more than beads for the US.