Granted! But my Harley shows up, and in a fit of jealous rage, chomps the Interceptor to pieces...then belches on me for being unfaithful.

I wish Lysk had to ride a Segway everywhere-hehe.

I do in fact ride a Segway EVERYWHERE...
I become rich and famous.




I wish Duncan would stop wishing me ill will.

Granted! I wish for only happy things for you...but then a safe falls on my head.

I wish the safe hadn't fallen on my head.

It fell on your foot



I wish I was independently wealthy

The day will never end. The earth has stopped revolving and the location you are at now has an everlasting day, while the rest of the world or at least half of it is cursed to eternal darkness on the far side.


I wish peace and happyness to the world.

You get it, but then we are all bored out of our minds, and after only a week of this everyone goes back to killing each other.

I wish my computer would work faster.

It's working so fast it leaves you in a time warp which catapults you back to 1973 where you end up being a regualr on American Bandstand 24/7/365....you're getting sleeeepy....verrry sleepy




I wish I didn't have to cook dinner tonight.

You don't instead a troupe of circus midgets come into your house and cook you dinner. They make a gigantic mess, the food is terrible, and when they leave they forget to take the small dog that jumps on the trampoline off your table.

I wish I could bring my kitties to work with me.

Granted! All your cats come to work with you...then, in a fit of rage, they claw all your coworkers to death.

I wish my gout would go away.

You get your wish...Gout goes away to college leaving you an empty room. You redecorate Gout's room with daisies and pink chiffon and advertise for a boarder. Arthritis shows up and takes Gout's room. Gout quits school unexpectedly and comes home to live only to find Arthritis in his joint.



I wish I was way down yonder in the land of cotton

Granted. You magically come and live in Alabama, filled with mosquitos, humidity, and the constant smell of everyone else's sweat. On the upside living is 1/2 the cost.. on the downside.. you get paid 1/4 your old salary. Which means that even if you wanted to move out of the bug filled armit of the states, you could never afford the move anywhere else.

I wish I had a really good recipe for watermelon pickles.

Paula Deen sends you her best Watermelon Pickle recipe written in sandskrit.




I wish for a neater desk

granted... your desk is now doll house sized... but your stuff isn't...




Man it felt good to corrupt that...


I wish I could do that a little more often...

you do it so often that you don't have time to eat, sleep or post...awww...too badddd



I wish I had a personal chef

Granted... your personal Chef is a pimply faced 16 year old kid who was recently fired from McDonalds for hocking loogies into the fry basket.



I wish I could think of something to wish.