You are the greatest hockey player of all time because you went back in time to destroy the person who invented the game, thus, you are now the ONLY hockey player of all time and so the greatest.









I wish I wasn't tired.

you aren't tired...you're so hyper everybody else is exhausted just watching you. Settle down there Av...we can't keep up!!


I wish for a trip to the British Isles for Christmas!!
PLEASE Santa

You go to the British Isles, an are offered a serving of "Spotted Dick". You die of fright.

I wish I knew if it actually called "Spotted Dick"

You find out that Spotted Dick is a steamed suet pudding containing dried fruit, usually currants. The dessert is especially popular in the United Kingdom, usually served either with custard or with butter and brown sugar. Spotted refers to the currants (which resemble spots), and Dick is a corruption of the word dough.

You become very depressed because your best pal in high school had convinced you it was 'something else' whereupon you tried it and liked it.



I wish I knew how to spell suuewoeiejdjdhd.

Im not going to corrupt that wish but I must say...ew
That never happened...never...

no wish???

You have eyes which are propotionately exactly like an eagle's, in your head. You're horribly farsighted of course, so get used to reading glasses. Incidentally, the extra space for those eyes had to come from somewhere... You now enjoy the sunny outlook shared by those who have been treated to a minimally invasive lobotomy. But man, you can spot a rabbit at 2 miles in nothing flat.

I wish that this wish would not be granted.

err...I mean not granted...which means it was granted by way of no granting it and in so doing I become insane and hunt you down and make you "wish you were never born"


I wish I had two eyes.

You have two eyes but they're purely ornamental and serve no purpose for seeing whatsoever.









I wish someone else could do my laundry.

I do your laundry. 9 months later it gives birth to a beautiful baby Grugg.



I wish I could find a clothe pile that appreciates me.

Your clothing appreciates you but only because you professed your undying love to a washcloth.









I wish I could sleep one night without heartburn this week.

In an odd Mortal Kombat moment, someone rips your heart out, yells "Fatality" and runs away. Depriving you of the heartburn.

I wish I had the #5.

you are in line at Taco Bell for lunch...you have the #5...but they are on #298 and counting backwards.


I wish I was done with the equipment inventory.

You finish the inventory, but then you contract lupus. This sucks.

I wish I didn't not not have lupus...wait...I don't have lupus...the wish stands...

You don't have Lupus, you have a common form of itchius assius.

I wish I was home