it will, and you will be the first one to get frostbite

i wish there was no such thing as the flu

Granted.
The sickness gods have replaced the Flu with their new and improved version called SLU. It's 3 times worse and you are their guniea pig to try it out on.


I wish for a White Christmas

It's White all right but only because god forgot to take his dandruff medication.

I wish the Minnesota vikings could win a super bowl for once!!

I cannot corrupt this wish and cannot allow anyone else to do so.



I wish I was done baking my Christmas cookies

The cookies are finished but ae undercooked and loaded with holiday e. coli!!!

I wish I could get accepted by georgetown college.

they accept you as their new janitor



I wish I had an upper AND lower lip

You become more like Napoleon Dynamite. I crush you to death.


I wish I was on fire...right now.

You are, but while you burn, a big abominable snowman crushes you to death.


I wish my fingers were blue.

You become a jerk, some good samaritan crushes you to death.

I wish I was named Rodriguez the Great.

you are named Rodriguez the Great, but everyone calls you Rod, and refuses to add the "great" part, since you now have the opposite of a great rod. O_O

______________________________________________________

I wish i was as wealthy as Bill Gates. ^_^

You become very wealthy by stealing from Bill Gates and then he crushes you to death.








I wish my stomach didn't hurt.

your stomach no longer hurts as you have been crushed to death.


I wish I was over there. *points*

You go over there but the grass isn't as green as it looked over where you were.








I wish I knew if I was having a boy or a girl.

You never do.





I wish my name was Armando.

Hey, you familiar with the concept of Phoenician Purple? When they crush the mollusks to get the color purple? Well unfortunately you are the sea snail that is oozing away on the countertop, awaiting your future...


I wish cats were as smart as dogs.