The laundry folds itself, then, resentful for having to do your chores, it all moves away to a retirement community leaving you with nothing but mateless socks.





I wish I had money to order pizza.

you have it all in pennies (unrolled) and when you hand them to the delivery driver he gets po'd and takes out his pocket knife and cuts your Large Deluxe with extra anchioves and garlic into a thousand little pieces then drives off laughing his ass off in his 1974 Gremlin as you fight the neighbor's hungry Rottweiler off all on your own.


I wish I felt better today

You feel better today, but you feel like crap all the days to follow.









I wish the rottweiler had left me some pizza.

So much pizza makes the dog sick and he returns much of it to you in a gelatinous puddle. Enjoy!

I wish a woodchuck could chuck wood.

The woodchuck chucked so much wood you couldn't keep up with how much wood the woodchuck chucked.


I wish I had a dollar for everytime that woodchuck chucked wood

As soon as your wish comes true all woodchucks everywhere chuck -1 pieces of wood. You lose billions.

I wish Bob would fall in a hole. Nothing Personal.

Bob fell into a hole. He broke his leg, his hip, his big toe and a rib. He laid in that hole for days in great pain until he finally gave up and succumbed to the calling of the reaper. When he woke up, he was in Heaven. An angel appeared before him and asked him if would like to know the details of his suffering. Bob said yes.
So the angel took him to the great hall where he sat down in front of a 250 inch HD plasma screen with surround sound and watched silently as he heard Grugg wish him to fall into a hole.

After the viewing, the angel asked Bob how he felt.
He said he was angry and wanted revenge. The angel told Bob that those feelings were not allowed in Heaven and if he really wanted revenge he would have to go to Hell.

So...in order to satiate his appetite for revenge, Bob went to Hell and learned every torture the Devil had in his arsenal. The Devil made Bob strong and invincible and gave him all the power he had at his disposal. Bob became the right hand of Satan. He all the riches he ever wanted. There was nothing he was denied. Bob was feared by all.

Where's the corruption you ask?
Grugg will certainly be going to hell for wishing Bob to fall into a hole...you figure it out.

...I didn't want Bob to die, that was you! YOU I SAY!!! Shame on you. *Hides*

Wish?

sorry 'bout that...

I wish my hubby was home and not out in the cold

Your hubby comes home but now you are locked out in the cold.

I wish for a purple monkey dishwasher.

Your purple monkey dishwasher is delivered with an entire family of purple monkeys hiding inside, unfortunately though the adults are great dishwashers they are having a hard time training the babies who are more interested in smashing your dishes to bits than washing them. By the time you figure out what the problem is you are out of dishes since they were all smashed and your attempts to send them back for a refund fail miserably as you are sent to the hospital with monkey rabies because one of the babies bit you as you tried to shove her back into the dishwasher from whence she came. The rabies turns out to be incurable, all this because you can't wash your own dishes.



I wish for sunshine.

You are fired directly into the sun via a catapult in your quest to get sunshine. You are vaporised.

I wish I was vaporised...nicely.

Extra crispy, just the way you like it.










I wish I knew the question to the answer which is 42.

The question is "what is the meaning of life". You find this out by talking to the most intelligent of all species, white mice who then have you for dinner.



I wish I had a unicorn