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You are here: Home --> Forum Home --> Recent posts by Celeste

Holy crumbly blue cheese, batman!

I made it to 1000 posts!

In celebration, I’d like to sing one of my favorite Inn songs, written by Alacrity.

~The problem is all within the game, he says to me,
A solution to this is think diabolically,
The dice can work wonders in ways that can deceive,
There must be fifty ways to slay a player.
He said it's really not the DM they must blame,
Furthermore, those players do things that are dumb, or just insane,
Sometimes you can save them and they do it all again.
There must be fifty ways to slay a player.
Fifty ways to slay a player.

You stab them in the back, Jack
Use a new spell, Dell,
Don't need to be rude, Dude,
It's easy you see,
Fall in a vat, Mat
You don't need to argue that,
Bring a Banshee, Lee
And ignore their pleas.

I said, they are so messed up, that it's such a fright,
Olan shakes his head sadly when he hears me tell of my plight,
I said, Oh my friend could you tell me again this night, About the fifty ways.
He said why don't we both just think on this today,
I need to post to Meanwhile right now, but I won't go away,
And then he signed on, and I prepared once more the game to play,
There must be fifty ways to slay a player.
Fifty ways to slay a player.

You stab them in the back, Jack
Use a new spell, Dell,
Don't need to be rude, Dude,
It's easy you see,
Fall in a vat, Mat
You don't need to argue that,
Bring a Banshee, Lee
And ignore their pleas.~

Posted on 2013-12-04 at 03:39:55.
Edited on 2013-12-04 at 03:43:02 by Celeste

Topic: Destiny Flight - QnA
Subject: Ody!

I totally left you a place to put in Jon's parting comments!

“You boys have fun,” Tess said. She felt her stomach turn over as she looked at Rick’s easy smile.

((Assume the deal handshake from Jon here))

That was it! Tess would have waited for Jon to make the deal shake before prompting us to get out of there!

If you would like, I will just wait next time to post, rather than doing the ((assuming)) bit.

Posted on 2013-12-01 at 00:30:29.

Topic: Destiny Flight - QnA
Subject: I'm good with it

I figured that the garden bunk never did fully recover from Grace's overhaul; plus moving Angela into the storage room means that it would have been wiped out anyway. Tess wouldn't haven't insisted it go into a crew room. If anything, she might be collaborating with Grace on setting up a little hold in one of the cargo bays, but I doubt we would have gotten there yet.

So I'm good with Al's plan.

Also: Did I miss something somewhere? Feung shui? When did that come into play?

Posted on 2013-11-30 at 22:08:36.

Topic: Destiny Flight - QnA
Subject: Progression

Had a great little collaboration with MMV that I was just itching to get out. There's a ton of Chinese. If you'd like me to translate it, I can. But suffice to say, it's a bunch of colorful swear words.

Tess seems to be the type that doesn't really use too much Chinese unless she's riled up about something.

Posted on 2013-11-30 at 04:37:16.

Topic: Destiny's Flight - A Serenity RPG
Subject: Tess ~ Checking Back with Destiny

Persephone, Eavesdown Docks, Badger’s Office, 6:15 pm ST

"We have a deal then. Be at Diviner's Gulch at 2 am. There'a a clearing at the bottom, we will meet you there. Keep the running lights to a min, them press dogs can sniff out a story and we don't want any spectators. Don't be late."

JC walked past the little knot at the table towards the Simon brothers. He extended his hand, “JC Kane, nice to be traveling with ya’s. I see you two carry yourselves quite professional, maybe before we start traveling the Black tonight we can do some target shooting and maybe you guys can teach me a few things. Never know what can come in handy in the Black right”

“You boys have fun,” Tess said. She felt her stomach turn over as she looked at Rick’s easy smile.

((Assume the deal handshake from Jon here))

“Well, Capt’n, shall we? Lotsa preps to make. Good evenin’, sir,” she nodded her head at Badger. The pilot reached out and lightly touched Angela’s arm. Her eyebrows raised and she motioned towards the exit.

Persephone, Eavesdown Docks, Outside Badger’s Office towards Destiny, 6:20 pm ST

Tess waited until they were well out of earshot of Badger’s Office before letting out a long sigh, “Let’s not do that again, Capt’n” They wove in and out of hawkers still selling their wares into the evening, “Remember Stevenson? I sweared that I was lookin’ at him reincarnate. One more word again’st our girl ‘n crew, and I vowed I were gonna pop him one, no matter who he were. That reminds me,” she pulled back the sleeve of her jacket, exposing her multiband.

"Destiny! This is Tess. Ya'll awake in there?"

The multiband crackled slightly, and Grace’s voice chirped out of it, "Hey, Quing Ting, we are very awake and very bored. How goes the mission?"

"Gracie! Jin joh bu chi chi fah joh, woman! You were right,” Tess gritted her teeth and kept her voice down, “That man were every bit as a trumped up strutting lao chien as I ever did see. I am every bit suprised that da shiong la se la ch'wohn tian gave us the gorram job!"

"Okay, first things first, what the heck happened? What did he do to get you all riled up?"

"It's a long, wu toh wu now ugly. Suffice it to say, Mr. Kai Tze did give us the runaround, and he did call Destiny a garbage scow, and he did throw his lei sh'un da yui dian shoo reputation around like it was a gorram crown!

Ang came to the rescue. He took a shine to her, in which we may have to be making some excuses later. I'll let her tell that story.”

She drew breath, her finger still pushing down the comm. button. Tess’s dark eyes took in Angela walking beside her, and her brain reeled momentarily at the enigma that was their shipmate.

“Which reminds me,” she continued into the multiband, “Be sure to be addin' "Companion training" to the list of skills that Ang may or may not be learn'ed in."

“Don’t be forgittin’ to be addin’ this here little date of ya’lls into yer journal, Ang,” she said to Angela after letting go of the comm. button, “Star it, highlight it, sneeze on it, whatever to be rememberin’ yer appointment with our new employer.”

"Angela did what?,” Grace’s voice exclaimed, “Ugh, this is the last time I go to that one for job outings... Wait, Badger liked Angela!? Man she likes catching us off guard"

"Damn right she does,” Tess dodged around a little Chinese man trying to push painted umbrellas into her arms, “Kaida, we're leavin' this rock tonight. We'll be runnin' hot, but not full burn the whole way, so work whatever magic over on our girl before we head out. Could ya'll tell Steph to meet me in our guest rooms? Might'n be wantin' to sweep out the dust bunnies before we git our passengers."

"Will do, Quing Ting. See you soon."

"Sheh sheh. Be there in ten."

Posted on 2013-11-30 at 04:10:15.
Edited on 2013-11-30 at 22:48:14 by Celeste

Topic: Voyages of the Rocinante - Firefly RPG QnA
Subject: Woo!

Glad you picked up Sifu again, Eol!

That was the first time I've ever done the ((assuming)) bit. Let me know if I overstepped my bounds, Tann, or if I need to change anything.

Also: Did I ever mention that Tess is Taoist?

Posted on 2013-11-30 at 03:35:00.

Topic: Voyages of Rocinante - Serenity/Firefly RPG
Subject: Tess ~ Enough of these dai shing ren!

LV-426, Shuttle Docked on Rocinante, 9:45 PT

Tess drummed her fingers impatiently on the console as she waited. It was taking longer than she liked. Her goggles were pushed back onto her head, and she toyed with the engine shutdown sequence. Tess resisted the urge to buzz the comm. system; she held faith in her captain to let her know if something was amiss.

Whatever Willow wanted, it had better be good. Hate sittin’ here like a duck on a pond.

The trail of passengers was just visible through the window of the shuttle. It was always hard when innocent civilians got involved in fighting. Hopefully those caves would provide at least some cover when things got messy.

Wolf strode quickly into the shuttle. Tess could tell by the scowl on the man’s face that it was bad.

“How bad?”

((Assume a blunt answer here from Wolf, plus news about the coil.))

Lio coh jwei ji neong hur ho deh yung duh buhn jah j’wohn!” the pilot spat.

Innocent civilians my left foot.

((Assume orders to go grab John))

“Alright, handsome, sit yer tush down and strap in. We ain’t wasting no more time on this ni nio ru hai,” Tess said flatly, snapping her goggles down over her eyes. Wolf barely had a chance to latch his belt before Tess had released the safety clamps and hovered away from Rocininate. She kissed the tooth that hung around her neck and slammed down the throttle. The shuttle craft rocketed towards the processor.

Tess buzzed John’s multiband, “Drop whatcher doing, John. We’re comin’ to getcha. Change of plans.”

“I swear on the Three Jewels that I will personally shakedown every of those tian di wu yohn passengers fer our girl’s missin’ coil,” Tess growled, “Might’n be wantin’ yer help in that, Wolf. Up fer crackin’ skulls?” She pulled up hard on the shuttle, kicking up a cloud of dust as she settled the craft down.

“In the meanwise, could ya’ll go nab our boy?”

Posted on 2013-11-30 at 03:27:34.
Edited on 2013-11-30 at 03:29:54 by Celeste

Topic: Weird Stuff we find for Sale: Internet Edition; or, THE INTERNET IS A STRANGE AMAZING PLACE
Subject: Nastiest thing for your mouth, or most genuis combination ever?

For your viewing (and potentially tasting) pleasure, I present to you :



If you have never tried Sriracha before, get thee to a grocer. It’s better than ketchup, tastier than salsa, AND WILL BUILD YOUR TOLERANCE FOR A NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST.

The Oatmeal has a pretty intense relationship with sriracha, and may have directed me to this confectionary oddity. After my initial shock and awe of such a combination, my brain said, “Who on earth would have thought to combine sriracha AND bacon into a bloody lollipop??” After some investigating into their other products, this really seemed to be the natural progression of things.

Lollyphile also carries lollipops in such flavors as Wasabi Ginger, Blue Cheese, Merlot, AND BREASTMILK.

Bonus: Right now they have a discount labeled “SPICYBACON” for free shipping. Now, I’m not saying this would make a great holiday gift, but this would totally make a great gift for someone, especially if that someone’s name was CELESTE.

Posted on 2013-11-29 at 04:47:48.
Edited on 2013-11-29 at 04:51:03 by Celeste

Topic: Weird Stuff we find for Sale: Internet Edition; or, THE INTERNET IS A STRANGE AMAZING PLACE
Subject: Weird Stuff we find for Sale: Internet Edition; or, THE INTERNET IS A STRANGE AMAZING PLACE

We as human beings have the capacity to build great and wonderful things that greatly enrich our lives. Pocket sized super computers! Robot vacuum cleaners! Jayne hats! Microwave popcorn! We live in a day and age that everything is available through the internet. At first it started with Amazon and eBay. But now any uppity small business can make their goods available; be it through Etsy, Facebook, or their own oddly arranged catalog.

The internet is like a raging party that is happening 24/7 RIGHT IN YOUR FACE. Sometimes the internet is the cool guy that girls flock around. Sometimes it is the drunken dillhole that grinds cigarette butts out on the carpet and tries to give you a bro hug.

But then there are those times that the internet is like the guy that no one remembers inviting, with the lamp shade on his head. He screams with what apparently is joy, and everyone SLOWLY BACKS AWAY INTO ANOTHER ROOM.

This thread is for those times. The times when you come across something for sale and say, "What on earth were you thinking, Internet? Did you really think this get rich quick scheme was going to...OH MY GOD PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY BUYING THIS CRAP."

This is a place of healing. Of laughter. But mostly, it’s a place for us to share all the weird stuff we find for sale, reaffirming that somewhere, someone has thought of it, and it selling it ON THE INTERNET.

Keep it PG-13. If you have the hosting site be sure to post pictures of those bizarre goods; and don’t forget to link us to the site so we can heckle, see the other wacky merchandise they are selling, and secretly order them for ourselves.

Posted on 2013-11-29 at 04:46:44.
Edited on 2013-11-29 at 05:06:03 by Celeste

Topic: Destiny Flight - QnA
Subject: rooms

We stuck Angela in the storage room? I remember us discussing that tiny room should be converted into a garden bunk (around page 11 on this thread). Not so much?

Posted on 2013-11-25 at 18:47:28.

Topic: The Bleeding Lute Q&A : Where everybody knows your name
Subject: Rules Reminder.

As a reminder, I posted the following rules on the first page of this thread:

Have fun.
No time restraints, no expectations.
If you want to have a little heavier role play action with one of the main NPCs (e.g. Maria the bartender, Henry the owner), either drop me a line here or PM me. Otherwise, if you feel comfortable with it, go ahead and role play them. 
The NPC’s that I set up for ‘daily’ interactions are free for you to write their interactions as you see fit, but I’d be more than happy to role play them if you wish! I may also pop in and give the reactions depending on what’s going on.

A list of NPCs available for light roleplaying is also found on the first page of this thread, as well as the first page of the Bleeding Lute thread. 

I recommend checking that first page out, as it is full of useful information about the Bleeding Lute.

Main NPCs

Henry – The owner. Tall, wiry, mouse brown hair with an ever present red floppy hat. Henry is a straight forward kind of guy, who is very proud of his business. “This is my establishment, I will have no fighting, no stealing, and no destruction of property!” although what happens in game doesn’t necessarily mean that it’ll adhere to his rules Though gruff on the surface, he really is a pleasant and accommodating man.

Maria – The Bartender. A Curvy, dark haired woman with a really easy demeanor to go along with her bartending sass. She has a tendency to call everyone “Hon”. 

Cookie – The Cook. Tall and muscular with a 5 o’clock shadow and short brown hair, Cookie is built like a wall. He has tattoos up his arms, and rarely speaks. On the inside, he’s gooey, showing a particular soft spot for kids.

Sarah – Barmaid . She is a fair haired, light skinned wisp of a woman who is extremely efficient at her job, but very nervous.

Hugh – Wait staff. Well, part time wait staff. This mildly handsome young man with an expanding girth enjoys drinking and dancing with the patrons. He is often seen in ratty shirts with expensive looking vests.

Murph – Security. Murph is a heavily armed, lean redheaded half elf, who speaks to no one. Need I say more?

Please note that the two bar flies, Waldorf and Statler are described for ambient surroundings only; they will only be roleplayed by myself. 

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask me here, or shoot me a PM.  I just wanted to make the rules clear once more, because every game has got to have a few.

The Bleeding Lute is still open for business, so please feel free to keep up the awesome interaction!

Posted on 2013-11-25 at 02:03:42.
Edited on 2013-11-25 at 02:05:54 by Celeste

Topic: The Bleeding Lute Q&A : Where everybody knows your name
Subject: GMing the game.

I understand that I have given permission for others to role play my list NPCs in the Bleeding Lute.

With that being said,
I do not appreciate characters that I am personally roleplaying being taken over by other players/Innmates without my consent.

What is done is done. In the future, please ask my permission first before role playing a creation that I have made and am currently using.

Posted on 2013-11-25 at 02:01:40.

Topic: City Fantastico Q&A: The Quest for Liquor and Shame


With that being said, hooooooray for a new job!

We missed you, Gruggles.

Posted on 2013-11-22 at 16:47:08.

Topic: Destiny Flight - QnA
Subject: a little bit of catch up

I had a collaboration with MMV, but that was a "call back to the ship once we are out of Badger's office" type of conversation, and I didn't want to skip us forward until we had the deal sealed, and the rest of our instructions.

Posted on 2013-11-22 at 16:43:43.

Topic: Destiny's Flight - A Serenity RPG
Subject: Tess ~ Badger is taking on a whole new meaning

Persephone, Eavesdown Docks, Badger’s Office, 6:10 pm ST

“I’m sorry but you all seem to be working for a misconception. Now if anyone knew who the Princess was, i’d guess one of the ladies, not you captain. I collect trading card myself but whatever oils your chain. I’m asking you to transport Ms Fairchild her two lackeys and these two. I ain’t asking you to throw them a gorram teaparty! You don’t need special foods or rations or clean sheet or pretty dollies on the seats. She likes the charity work on the rim, so she can handle roughing it for awhile. In fact, her daddy would be mighty appreciative of her living like the other half because as I understand it, she’s been a bit of a prat about the wedding.” Badger sighed dramatically, “You have these two for extra security. Introduce yourself boys.”

The youngest of the two brothers steps forward and offers his hand to the captain, “I’m AJ Simon and that there is my brother Rick. Don’t you be fussing Captain, we can handle things as they come.” The brother offers a winning smile and a handshake but doesn’t comment further. “we can bunk together or swing on hammocks in the bay if necessary.”

Jon nodded as the two stepped forward. “Simon and Simon…sounds like a know …an accounting business.”

Tess’s checks colored brightly. She hadn’t really given the two young men that were standing behind Badger a good look. The younger one, the one who had spoken, certainly was pleasing to the eye. Tess liked how his manner wasn’t nearly as gruff as his employer’s.

But the older one, Rick. His face was had the perfect mixture of handsome and rugged; his eyes lit up like the morning sunrise when he parted his lips in a smile.

Oh merciful heaven. Tess reached up and fiddled with her tooth necklace as she smiled back at the two brothers.

Badger clears his throat noisily, “Right. The drop is late tonight, not tomorrow am. The idea here is to avoid the press getting wind of The Princess leaving, so her father wants her traveling in-cog-neat-toes. No one would suspect a high flaunting princess on a gar.. ship like yours. Get the picture?”
Jon snapped his look to Badger as he the word “gar…” left his lips.

Tess continued to color, but this time it was in anger. Her lips formed a thin line as her Captain became indignant.

“We ain’t no Garbage Scow! …….We take what business we been able get…… You don’t go nowhere if’n you can’t afford to refuel.”

“Listen. You can’t handle the job or your ship is too delicate for five passengers then fine. There an Arrowhead courier in port, I can use them. Don’t want to ‘cause the captain is a wáng bā dàn and I wanted to give you a chance to make a name. Get established, even hobnob with some bigwigs that could make your business. Kinda guy I am, see? But you can walk away, Guǎi mǎ jiǎo!, if you’d like and I will let my people know that you are not quite in my league for jobs. Understand?”

Jc nearly growled,"I can handle the security Captain, I certainly wouldn't want Mr. Badger here to think we can't handle it."

Almost in perfect unison Jon and Tess blert out as if splitting out a spoiled rice,“An.. ARROWHEAD………

Putting his palms to the sides of his forehead,"An ARROWHEAD….you’d put your money into one of those Yi Dwei Da Buen Chuo Roh? (Big stupid pile of stinking meat )…………They’d take twice time to get there, if they don’t break down.”.. Jon spreads out his arms if taking in the whole room. “Look, you’re a man that shows good business sense… were the only one to see that Destiny is more than those…..those……” Jon looked at Badger, “We’re the best kept secret in the verse….there ain’t no other boat faster… and there ain’t no crew better….. we need this job, but we’re worth more than 20 a head. You’d pay that….Arrowhead….more than twice that when ya figure how long it’ll take um …even at full burn….and then they’ll most likely be late.”

Tess kept her mouth shut, but her blood continued to boil. She didn’t appreciate the way this man was treating her captain, let alone the rest of the crew and her boat. Her initial response was out of habit; Destiny was the fastest ship that ever did travel the ‘verse. Jon was right; she really was the best kept secret, and this tetchy chwen had no idea.

You ever seen a boat like Destiny?” continued Jon, “ I’d guess not,…and neither have the competition. They don’t know what we can do…and that’ll give us…and you… the advantage. That advantage is worth…… 50 a head, cuz we get there before most know we left. We’d give a savvy business man like you an Ace in the hole.”

"Oh! You are businessman then?" Badger eyes glowed with impatience and anger, "From what I hear your boat been sitting in a junk heap for near a year! But now it's faster than a courier class? I would love to meet your mechanic 'cause she must be the best this side of the Kessel Run. How 'bout we make it 15 and you can ...."

“Well, I think we’ve heard enough,” Angela spoke coolly and quietly, but just enough to be heard over the discussion, “but our host is clearly dealing with some urgency and we are between jobs at the moment, “ she rose from the table and sauntered to stand between Badger and Jon, but closer to Badger.

What the devil? Tess’s demeanor remained calm, but she reached up and began touching the feather affixed in her hair. Wuo duh tian ah, you pick NOW to go all wooly on us, Ang?

She continued to idly touch that feather while she watched Angela play Badger like she was some sort of gorram companion. The pilot held her breath, and prepared for the worst as Angela turned back to the table.

Badger smiles broadly, "Oi! I sees what you are doing! Get me going there you did! I can admire that. Make me think you a fool then bring your own Ace in - ah, don't bother denying it." He moves to be beside Angela, stepping by the Captain to do so, "You's the brains here aren't you? Fine. I gives you 35 a head and I'll make sure the cruise liner fills your fuel tanks after the drop. But ..." He leans in slightly, "When you come back - You have dinner with me - just the two of us and no business. Agreed?"

A sigh passed between Tess’s lips. That could have gone a lot worse.

“Lao Buhn,” Jon said, “your offer of 35 is acceptable, but as for the dinner, that is purely Angela’s choice.” Jon looked to Angela for some clue.

“It sounds like we have a deal for a job, and that a good’s day’s work all around. I like that you’re making dinner plans – means you expect us back quick enough, and in a mood to still be friendly. You and I though, Mister,” and she gave him an arch look before winking, ”we’ve just begun our acquaintance, and I’m not one to rush to the end. You’ll get your dinner, but fair warning – I’m likely to bankrupt you if you chose someplace fancy, and I’m no sure thing…you’ve sealed no other deal with me yet. “

She tilted her head and her smile was part play, and part challenge. “So, you still interested in that date?”

Tess shifted on her feet. She was anxious to get out of here. This cheong bao ho tze huen dahn had crawled right under her skin, and she felt hard pressed not walk over and put that little man in his real place. Again, she regretted that there weren’t more honorable people out in the ‘verse, especially since they had to get into the mix with this kind of ilk to stay flying. Hopefully this job, and the promised future ones, was worth it.

Her eyes wandered back to where Rick Simon stood, and she smiled again.

Well, couldn’t complain about the perks.

Posted on 2013-11-22 at 16:40:26.

Topic: The Bleeding Lute - Come on in and Play!
Subject: Mighty fine shindig!

“I don’t even know why I came down here.”

“Because, silly, of the music! And the dancing!”

“What music? That’s just Marvin and his musicians. He’s in here practically every night!”

The table of girls gossiped in between bites of kabob. The dark haired one had a notable scowl on her face, which didn’t seem to faze the other two.

“That’s because,” responded the shorter of the two fair haired girls, “she’s not here yet, dummy! Some hot shot lute player rolled into town a few days ago. Honestly, Miranda, if you’d spend two seconds listening to the word around town instead of staying shut up in your house, you would have known she’s coming here later tonight!”

“Libby, you know my dad…” Miranda started, but the other girl cut her off.

“Look, it doesn’t matter. There’s new music in town, and you know what that means!” Libby said conspiratorially, finishing her statement with a giggle.

The two fair haired girls looked at one another and said in unison, “Boys!” They both lapsed into helpless giggles.

“Look, see! There’s a table of guys I don’t recognize! They must be from the next village over,” Libby lowered her voice, “I call dibs on the blonde one.”

“Libby! We’re here for Miranda’s benefit! Let her choose one first!”

“I don’t…” Miranda began, but again she was cut off.

“Ah, Abby’s right. Choose whatever one you like to dance with, and we’ll help you, er, I mean, help him get courage enough to ask.” Libby took a meaningful pull from her tankard and winked at Miranda.

The dark haired girl sighed, and pulled a potato from off her plate. As she munched on it, she took a long appraising look over at the table with the five men grouped around it.

“How about,” Miranda said after a moment, “the auburn one.”

“The guy in the animal skins?” Abby gasped.


“Whatever, Miranda. You always did like the weirdos. Libs has got the blonde one, guess that leaves me with the cute one with the beard.”

“The dwarf?” Miranda asked.

Abby punched her in the arm, “No, dofus, the human. I tried dancing with a dwarf once. All he did was motorboat me the entire time. Tried to blame it on my height,” She rolled her large blue eyes, “Riiiiight.”

Libby threw back her shoulders, shook her chest and exclaimed, “Brrrrrrr!” All three girls collapsed into giggles again.

"That is Complete TROLL PISS Alester!"

The music screeched to a halt as five chairs slid noisily across the wooden floor. The man in the skins was gesticulating violently at his companions around the table.

The girls ceased their laughter at once and turned to stare at the altercation that was blossoming from the table in the middle of the room. They watched with their mouths slightly open as he yelled, throwing accusations and colorful expletives.

He kicked his chair out from under him and stalked over to the bar. Marvin’s band picked up the final notes of “Rare Auld Times” as conversation began to seep back into the tavern.

“Like I said, Miranda,” Abby said, taking another drink from her mug, “Weirdo.”

“Oh shush,” Miranda responded as the man at the bar exclaimed, “Whiskey! Double!”

“Don’t worry, cousin!” Libby laughed, “More will show up! Tonight will be hopping, just wait and see!”

True to Libby’s words, a steady stream of newcomers trickled into the tavern. Whether they had come to see the new bard in town, for the promised dancing, or just for a pint and some food, the Bleeding Lute was slowly filling up. The group nearest the stage moved a few tables off to the side, and a few couples began dancing. The musicians began alternating three fast songs to every slow one.

Libby gasped audibly, her eyes locked on the door, “Oh dear heavenly stars above. Look what just strolled into our tavern.”

The other two swiveled around to look at the bar. A man towered above the other patrons, giving his order to Maria while casually throwing a few gold coins upon the counter. His long blonde hair was clipped up neatly away from his chiseled face, and it looked like his tunic was just barely leaving him enough room to breathe. He immediately upended his first tankard, clearing the entire thing before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. They continued to watch him drink another two tankards in much the same fashion before tucking noisily into his meal.

Miranda turned back with another scowl on her face, while Abby and Libby looked like two cats that had gotten into the cream.

“Oh no,” Miranda groaned, “Not him. He’s disgusting.”

“But look him!” Libby said, “He’s handsome!”

“And tall,” Abby added.

“Plus did you see him just casually drop that gold on the counter?” Libby asked incredulously.

“And muscley,” Abby continued dreamily.

Miranda looked back to where the very tall, muscley man sat just as he let out a large belch and again wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.

“He gross,” she intoned again, “and you two are worse.”

“Oh!” Libby squealed, “Here he comes!”

“Dibs,” Abby said immediately. Libby frowned and swiftly punched her in the arm.

The man pulled a chair around and nestled it against the girls’ table. His mouth was mostly stuffed with apple pie, which he gulped down before saying, “And how dose such a splendid night have such beauties fiar?”

“Ugh,” Miranda groaned, “I’m too sober for this. You two have fun.” She grabbed her tankard and strode towards the bar.

“Don’t mind her,” Libby giggled, “she just doesn’t know how to have a good time.”

“I’m Abby,” Abby said, cutting off the other young woman and holding her right hand out as if it waited to be kissed.

“I’m Libby,” Libby prompted afterward, holding her left hand out the same way.

Miranda still wore a frown as she set her tankard on the bar, “Maria! Can I get another Mahogany?”

“Sure thing, hon!” The curvy bartender snatched up her tankard on the way by, balancing it with a handful of plates.

“Good evening Jedidiah, Conrad,” Miranda said to the two old men at the end of the bar.

“Well well, now,” Jedidiah Statler leaned around Conrad Waldorf’s shoulders to address the scowling young woman, “What’s a pretty young thing like you doing up here at the bar?”

“What’s it look like she’s doing” Waldorf asked.

“It looks like she wants to talk to a couple of geezers like us!” Statler replied.

“Why do you say that?”

“Cause she ain’t doing anything else!”

Both older men let out a mighty, “Hoo hoo hoo!”

Their belly laughs made her smile, “Talking to you fine gentlemen sure beats all the promised dancing I’m not doing.”

“Promised dancing, eh?” Waldorf responded, blowing out his moustache for emphasis, “Well you should dance with ol’ Statler here! He used to cut quite the rug back in his day!”

“What? Hey now, I haven’t mangled any carpets in years!”

“Ah, you’re right, Jedidiah,” Miranda simpered, sticking her lip out in an obviously fake pout, “I wouldn’t want you to throw your back out. A man of your advancing years can never be too careful.”

“Will you listen to that poppycock! Come here, girl, I’ll show you how this is done!” Statler unfolded his lanky frame out from underneath the bar, put his hands on his hips, and grimaced as he stretched his body from side to side.

Marvin struck up the opening chords of Collin’s Jig on his fiddle, and a pleased cry erupted from a number of the patrons.

“Come on, young lady, let’s go show these youngsters a thing or two,” Statler said, offering Miranda his arm and leading her to the cleared area in front of the stage.

“You mean a thing or two about First Aid!” Waldorf called after them.

Posted on 2013-11-20 at 05:20:19.
Edited on 2013-11-20 at 06:00:15 by Celeste

Topic: Destiny Flight - QnA
Subject: To tell you the truth

I don't think Badger is to fond of anyone.

Plus there's that whole "things don't go smooth" bit about Jon.

Posted on 2013-11-19 at 03:02:07.

Topic: Voyages of the Rocinante - Firefly RPG QnA
Subject: You too?

All I know is that Tess is in the shuttle waiting to pull a turbine off a very large piece of machinery. ^_^

Posted on 2013-11-19 at 02:35:44.

Topic: Destiny Flight - QnA
Subject: A box of chocolates, with nuts, and cherries, and OMG IS THAT A SHIV?

Vanadia, I just want you to know I loved that whole bit about the "don't put me in the box!"

I loooooove characters with mysterious background that you have to keep reading about to figure out what's going on!

Posted on 2013-11-19 at 02:25:49.

Topic: Destiny Flight - QnA
Subject: A new Child of Destiny?!?


And what a pretty face!

This means I can go back to piloting, hating Alliance, and drinking tea. All of which I am good at.

Is this Reralae's character?

Working on a post right now. Thank goodness for Angela's random skill recall.

**edit: definitley posted that at the same time as Al. **

Posted on 2013-11-19 at 02:03:06.
Edited on 2013-11-19 at 02:18:00 by Celeste

Topic: Destiny Flight - QnA
Subject: if you are ready to go...

...feel free to move us along. I can do a little backposting, but Tess isn't going to put forth anything impactful aside from some off hand arrowhead stats.

Posted on 2013-11-18 at 19:44:12.

Topic: Destiny Flight - QnA
Subject: Something soon!

Something from me soon! I'm still contemplating how Tess will react to the situation unfolding before her.

Posted on 2013-11-18 at 18:36:50.

Topic: Why We Love to Hate Them: Episode 1- Bards
Subject: Bards: A Story

My very first D&D character was a bard.

Which, to tell you the truth, was a bad idea. Actually, my very first D&D game was awful. No one helped me with my character, I never got the rules explained to me, and when we actually played (with an overfull party of seven players) I stood in the back of the party saying things like “I don’t know what I’m doing. Uhh, I’m just going to stand here?” and the rest of the group LET ME DO IT. It’s a miracle that I actually kept playing pen and dice games after that, but I knew I had stumbled into a good thing.

I didn’t play a bard after that first time. I never had a player play one in my games either. It seemed like bards were jacks of all trades and masters of none. Low hit points, no special abilities for combat; more of a “let’s stand in the corner and cheer the team on!” kind of class.

But this year, on Easter, my DM ran an Easter Egg Hunt for myself and a friend. It was then that I decided, what the heck, this is going to be a ridiculously Easter-trope filled game, might as well play a light hearted character to go with it.

So I created a Gnome Bard. My friend created a Halfling Barbarian (Cade, actually, if any of you followed Breaking the Fourth), and we went on a quest for Dragon Eggs. It was third edition and a pretty amazing game, complete with Dire Peep (which Richard ate after its defeat), a hatching red dragon, and a clan of anthropomorphic rabbits. We were captured by this tribe of bunnies, and to make a very long story short, were faced with the choice of killing a dragon that had been plaguing the tribe, or be killed ourselves.

Deciding that death by dragon would be a much more epic fate than death by bunny, so off we went, along with a disgraced member of their tribe, to the mountain where the dragon lived. We were told that the dragon had stolen a vorpal sword from the rabbits; the only condition in coming back was that the sword must be returned but the rest of the hoard was ours.

It was in this moment that I learned a very crucial lesson about bards. You can’t just decide to play one, roll up the stats and be done with it. No no no, you must pick a trope or an archetype and play one. Because the thing about bards is that they aren’t just another class, but a class that demands character development in order to play it successfully. I’m not saying that other classes don’t benefit from developing the character, what I’m saying is that in order to enjoying being a bard you’ve got to create a living breathing character.

Thus my metal bard was born.

We walked into the cave and I immediately fascinated the dragon inside with bardic song. I pulled out my ipad and began playing Tenacious D’s Tribute to set the mood. As I played my lute, both Cade and our rabbit companion edged around either side of the dragon, hoping to flank it and maybe increase our odds. Unfortunately, the dragon saw through our ruse, swallowed the rabbit whole, and told me to keep playing. At this point we switched tracks over to Dragon Force, which is suitably epic for a fight for such a legendary beast.

Cade had gotten the slip on him, and proceeded to jump on the dragon’s back. Why? Who knows. I hid behind a pillar, clutching my lute, weighing my options and thinking about how much bards suck. I dug in my pouch for some blinding powder that I had on me just as the dragon’s head popped around the corner. I threw the powder in his face and then did the only thing a metal bard could have done.

I smashed my lute on its head.

This gave me enough time to escape the gaping maw of certain death. As I ran around the dragon, I noticed where the Vorpal Sword had been hiding underneath its girth. I ran towards it, knowing full well that I couldn’t wield this two handed weapon that was taller than my gnome bard and weighed almost as much. Why? Because bards barely know how which end is the one that goes into the other man.

Or so I had thought, until I remembered taking Master’s Touch, a spell found in the Complete Adventurer, that allows the caster to gain complete proficiency with the weapon or shield held in their hands at the time the spell is cast.

So I ran over, grabbed the sword and cast Master’s Touch. Vorpal swords have a ten percent chance of decapitating the head off of the intended victim. I took my first swing at the dragon and managed to hit it. My DM told me to roll percentage, and that I was aiming low. I released the dice, and they came up 6%. I stared at it, he stared at it, and I timidly ask, “Did I make it?”

“Yup. You just chopped its head off.”

In such an event, my DM likes to have the creature have one last death throw. I held my breath at the DM threw his dice to decide the fate of my little, low hit point character. The dragon’s head toppled from the beast’s neck, opened its mouth, and chomped down on my bard.

I remember thinking, “Oh yeah! If she dies right here, THIS WOULD BE THE MOST EPIC METAL DEATH EVER KNOWN TO A BARD.” A small part of me hoped she would eat it, because what a grand ballad that would make!

The bite took her down past zero hit points, and I was sure she was a goner. But wait! Remember Cade? He had been thrown bodily from the dragon, and managed to rush to my bard’s side and shove a healing potion down her throat just before she hit negative 10. The rabbit that had been swallowed managed to wedge himself in the throat, and when the dragon’s head was chopped off, the rabbit was puked out onto the floor. Cade managed to revive him; he too was a round away from permanent death.

The point of this whole story is that you can’t play a bard like every other meat shield out there. I guarantee if you can look at your encounter and say, “I’m about to make this into the most epic scene known to man,” you’re doing it right, because if death and dismemberment is imminent, IT’S GOING TO BE GLORIOUS.

Posted on 2013-11-17 at 20:50:07.
Edited on 2013-11-17 at 21:25:38 by Celeste

Topic: Demonic Vending Machine
Subject: Just in time for the holidays

You mother-in-law pops out holding a mimosa.

I feed it coffee, a blanket, and a copy of Treasure Island.

Posted on 2013-11-16 at 15:06:42.

Topic: Voyages of the Rocinante - Firefly RPG QnA
Subject: Son of a...


Posted on 2013-11-14 at 19:15:06.


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